Emotional chaos is not something foreign. Facing it depends on us and our courage. Only in this way is it possible to pass from torment to harmony.
Last update: Augusts 24, 2020
There are moments marked by anguish and lack of harmony. It is difficult for us to get out of the darkness because we do not understand what is happening to us or we do not know how to manage it. These are moments in which emotional chaos reigns.
We miss the ground under our feet and we don't know what to do. We feel like shouting: enough! But partly because of the confusion, partly because of the unpredictability of the future or the mistakes of the past, we continue to remain in the same situation.
In those moments, they seem to exist only the shadows, which we carry with us in the form of frustrations and other inconveniences. However, there is a way to handle this emotional chaos.
Below, we will see how to behave in this situation, what are the characteristics of emotional chaos and what are the benefits of becoming aware of it.
“I find hope in the darkest of days, and focus on the brightest days. I don't judge the universe. "
Emotional chaos, what is it?
It represents that state in which one feels depressed and confused in relation to one's emotions. Most of the time we tend to associate it with suffering, especially when we don't know how to act in the face of problems. But this is not necessarily emotional chaos. It can also relate to those moments when you are overwhelmed with positive emotions that you are unable to handle.
It is also about the moments when you don't know what happens to us. You might feel different emotions, but they don't know how to recognize or translate into words. Emotional chaos also consists in not knowing how to manage events, even if one is able to make a correct analysis of the situation.
As suggested by psychologist and writer David Solá, in emotional chaos there is a contradiction between the emotional and the rational world, which leads to losing control, letting impulses direct the behavior.
Emotional chaos usually has the following characteristics:
- Disorder. Emotions are no longer under our control, they can explode some we did not know and lead to unwanted behaviors.
- Confusion. Lack of clarity leads us to not knowing what decisions to make. Therefore, we tend to put them off.
- Fear. We are afraid of making mistakes, because we do not feel confident in ourselves. It is an emotion that generates a disorder projected towards the future.
- Remorse. It lies in the sense of guilt that makes us uncomfortable. It generates a disorder projected into the past.
- Projection. We believe it all depends on the outside, we blame others, including emotions, as if they were foreign to us.
Emotional chaos can be linked to an emotional block. As in cases where we protect ourselves to survive a certain situation.
At the beginning it can be a way to safeguard ourselves, but if it remains unconscious, and we do not elaborate it, it can lead us to no longer know how to manage ourselves. So in the future, when we no longer need to protect ourselves, the emotions associated with this situation could burst in and overwhelm us.
Finally, it could be associated with a new situation so invasive that it paralyzes our ability to judge.
How to deal with emotional chaos in a positive way?
As David Solá suggests, it must be recognized that in full emotional chaos it is difficult to make decisions and put things in order. However, you can handle it in a positive way, for example:
- Through self-knowledge. Connecting with yourself is the best way to know what is happening in us, why we are having a certain reaction and which path we want to take. This will help us in the management.
- Make room for emotional chaos. Sometimes we want to escape it so much, that we postpone it to another moment, accumulating sensations that grow more and more. It would be better to accept the fact that it can happen to anyone, giving ourselves a moment to let it flow.
- Don't prolong the emotional chaos. While it's essential to let your emotions flow, it's also important not to do it forever; that is, don't focus too much on them. It is essential to move forward; an effective way to limit yourself.
- Not everything comes from the outside. It is our chaos precisely because it affects us. We stop blaming others for our problems.
Unleash the chaos
- Know where to express chaos. While it's important to get rid of what's inside, we also need to do it assertively. Not all places are suitable, they could even make the situation worse. It will be advisable to look for a place where you can express yourself calmly.
- Ask for help. We are often ashamed to say "I need help", but it is normal to ask for some support at times. We could turn to people with whom we are familiar, or if necessary, we could turn to a professional. A psychologist can be an excellent guide on this path.
- Don't believe too much in beliefs. In some cases we take some family or social beliefs too seriously. This situation risks suffocating us. It is healthier to recognize between those that are good for us and those that generate frustration, so as to learn from them all and avoid falling back into emotional chaos.
Exercise can also help us. The effort releases various hormones and neurotransmitters that generate a feeling of well-being in us. Even doing some activities can help us turn emotional chaos into a more harmonious state. For example, art effectively helps transform anguish.
Benefits of being aware of your emotional chaos
Paying attention to your emotional chaos will lead to being more assertive. In addition, you will get additional benefits such as:
- Release the tensions.
- Recognize the value of each emotion.
- Let go of what gets in your way.
- Live the here and now.
- Recognize your limitations
- Know your defense mechanisms.
- Transforming anxiety into creativity.
- The emotional release.
- Greater ability to make decisions.
The process is gradual. We cannot expect overnight to substantially increase our level of control or that we will no longer experience this emotional confusion in our lives. Like any other human being, we will have ups and downs, the important thing is to learn from each of them!
Getting out of the overwhelming shadow of disorder, fear, confusion, guilt and blaming others or seeing emotions as something external is absolutely possible. It consists of dancing with the shadows, getting to know them, inviting them to go out at the right time, learning from them and transforming them into well-being, little by little.