Doubts in love: break up or continue?

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Louise Hay

Doubts in love: break up or continue?

Last update: 24 March, 2018

We must have all had doubts in love at some point. Maintaining a relationship requires sensitivity, attention and sometimes a good dose of patience; for this reason it is not uncommon for us to ask ourselves at times whether it is really worth continuing with our current partner, especially if we have been together for some time and part of the "magic" of the beginning has dissipated.

However, although this is quite common, many of us are not prepared to face these doubts in love and live this situation very badly. Does that mean he's not the right person for us? Should we break up even though everything has gone well so far?

Sometimes, it is true that doubts about relationships can indicate a deeper problem that needs to be resolved, because otherwise the relationship will not thrive. However, on many other occasions, doubts in love arise as our expectations of what a couple must be like are unrealistic. In this case, feeling insecure about the relationship has no reason to imply a more serious problem. In today's article, we will learn to distinguish between these two types of doubts.

Doubts in Love: Why Do They Occur?

Doubts in a relationship can appear for several reasons. Some of them have nothing to do with the health of the relationship, while others may be indicators that change is needed. In general, the most common doubts in love occur in the following situations:

  • In response to a change (external or internal).
  • When one of the members of the couple feels attracted to a new person.

Let's see them both.

When changes occur in the couple

Romantic movies have hurt us a lot. In almost all of them, the beginning of a relationship is shown, when the feelings are strongest, everything looks like roses and the two people are completely compatible and spend their days looking into each other's eyes with stupid expressions. However, there are fewer cameras to capture what happens next.

And the truth is, we will all have experienced this feeling sometime. When we start dating a new person, sometimes we are so in love that we can only see the merits. The most common thing in these cases is to start being together and start a relationship that will make us very happy for several months.

The problem? This feeling always ends. According to the latest research on love, this phase (which is technically called "limerence") lasts for a period ranging from three months to a year. Then, the feelings transform and true romantic love appears. However, most of us, feeling that this feeling disappears, get scared and begin to have doubts about our partner, our love, that of our partner and the couple.

If something like this has happened to you, don't worry: it is the normal evolution of love. The important thing in these cases is to focus on establishing good communication and trust with the other person, as well as working to maintain the passion for the long term. According to various researches, they are the three fundamental components of a healthy and lasting love.

The same can happen if there is a major change in the life of one of the two members of the couple. In these situations, it is critical to the health of the relationship that both members act as a team. In general, all relationships have ups and downs of this kind, but if the couple maintain a balance and the communication channels remain open, the union is likely to be strengthened.

What if there is someone else?

Once again, Hollywood has spread some pretty noxious love myths. In this sense, some of the most frequent doubts appear when we feel attracted or believe that our partner may feel attracted to another person. However, quDoes this mean that our relationship is doomed to death? Not necessarily.

The truth is, for most people, being in love doesn't mean they can't feel attracted to someone else, quite the opposite. This is why the decision to stay with one person comes from our commitment: that of choosing our mate at any time over any momentary or casual attraction.

If you feel attracted to another person and this makes you question your relationship, take a deep breath. It is not about the end of the world, nor the end of your relationship; on the contrary, continuing with the current partner or leaving him for the new person is a decision that only you can make, after thinking about it rationally and without getting carried away by the emotion of the moment.

A very different situation is, however, betrayal. In these cases, the problem is not the attraction to another person, but the breakdown of the couple's trust. Both members of the relationship must decide whether they believe they can rebuild it or if, on the contrary, it is better to start from scratch.

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