Are you wondering if the narcissus falls in love too? You are in the right place!
In the course of our life, we all find ourselves dealing with a narcissist at one time or another. It can be a friend, a colleague, a boss, a simple acquaintance, or worse ... a boyfriend.
Sometimes we are able to recognize this type of personality, or at least we begin to suspect that there is some kind of very specific pattern behind the behavior of the aforementioned person. Other times, however, through ignorance or naivety, we do not realize anything and continue to suffer its narcissistic behaviors passively and unconsciously.
In any case, dealing with a narcissist, especially if you enter into an emotional relationship with him, always represents a very painful experience, which leaves you destroyed and drained.
Let's see then in this article how to recognize a narcissist, what are his typical patterns of behavior in love, and we answer the fateful question: "does the narcissist fall in love?".
Narcissistic man: how to recognize him?
Below I present to you a number of recurring characteristics in the narcissus man. They will be of great help in unmasking the narcissist and recognizing their behavioral mechanisms.
1. He is not empathetic: he absolutely fails to put himself in the other's shoes and understand his moods.
2. He is a manipulator: every type of interaction he undertakes with others is aimed at obtaining a sense of control over them, manipulating them, lying, exploiting blackmail, the sense of guilt.
3. He is an exploiter: make the most of other people on a sentimental, sexual, economic level. He sees others as objects to be exploited to fuel his sense of grandeur.
4. He is very touchy: does not accept any kind of criticism, becomes aggressive when some wrong behavior is pointed out to him, never apologizes, never shows his weaknesses.
5. He has delusions of grandeur: always wants to be the center of attention, pretends to be more important than he really is, often brags, overestimates his abilities, says he is an expert in different fields, if he joins a group he goes out of his way to get noticed .
6. Always look for new things: he gets bored soon, he is constantly looking for new stimuli and narcissistic gratifications, he often changes partner, city, work activity and hobbies.
Most people have mild narcissistic personality traits - me too, and probably you too. The problem arises when these stretches take over, and they constitute the most important component of a person's character. Here is precisely the narcissistic man (or the narcissistic woman).
Does the narcissus fall in love?
Now that you know how to recognize a narcissist, let's get to the heart of today's article, answering the question: Does the narcissist fall in love?
Let's start by saying that the narcissist tends not to fall in love, because his lack of empathy towards others and his selfishness prevent him from doing so.
He loves the courtship phase, but does not have the emotional maturity necessary to make the transition to a real relationship. His love life is nothing more than the continuous repetition of the first phase of courtship, every time with a different woman.
He may say he is in love, and actually believe it, but he is not really able to recognize love from desire. What he really wants is completely possessing the other person, with the sole purpose of exploiting and abusing her to satisfy her narcissistic desire, regardless of her emotional needs.
Usually the first few periods of a relationship with him are all about great passion, sweetness, care and meant to say the least magical. This is because the narcissist does not see and understand the woman in front of him, as he tends to idealize her as the perfect candidate to satisfy his narcissistic needs.
As the relationship progresses and begins to demand a greater level of depth and authenticity, the narcissist begins to move away, to be more unfriendly and less available. He responds to his partner's requests with lies, manipulations and sometimes even fury.
Finally, the narcissist, when he sees that he is unable to establish a one-sided relationship with his partner, in which he is the only one to take and to be worshiped, without giving anything in return, decides to carry out the so-called "discard", leaving the prey.
The gap does not have the objective of definitively truncating, but is rather aimed at annihilate and make the partner suffer, to return to feel in total power over her. At a later time he will return to take possession of it again.
So does the narcissist fall in love?
The narcissist sees others as mere tools, sources of fulfillment. He can love a person as he would love an object, if he can strengthen his ego. It does not consider others as real human beings, with their needs and their emotions. His love is only desire, not mature love.
However, it must be said that in this case we are talking about pathological narcissism, or narcissistic personality disorder. Many people have narcissistic personality traits, but are still able to love, despite having some or even several of the behavioral patterns described in this article.
So ultimately the narcissist does not fall in love, but your narcissist may also be able to fall in love, albeit with greater difficulty than other people.
How to deal with a narcissist?
My advice, if you realize you are dealing with a pathological narcissist, focuses on 3 points:
1. Don't hold a grudge in his regards. This is a person with a severe personality disorder, unable to love and also unable to be truly happy. He is unaware of his wickedness, and the pain he causes other people to feel.
2. Cut off relations with him and do not allow him to return. Once you break up, delete and block him from all social networks, blacklist his number, and when he tries to come back into your life don't let him.
3. Do some work on yourself. Narcissists usually choose prey with low self-esteem, which are easily manipulated, defined in psychology as co-dependent personalities. If in life you happen to be a victim of narcissists all the time, I recommend that you start some serious work on yourself. You will have to acquire greater self-esteem and psychological independence at any cost, in order to attract and maintain more dignified and fulfilling relationships in your life. A journey with a psychologist or a coach could be of great help.
Instead, you are determined to understand like being wanted by a narcissist, getting him involved in you? In this case we see some psychological dynamics, and counter-manipulations that you will have to put in place ...
Read also: how to win back a narcissistic man
The narcissist needs to feel that he is holding you totally under control, so what you will have to do is make him feel that he has lost that sense of control; only in this way will he become involved in you.
Initially give him the idea of being dependent on him, making him feel important, the point of reference in your life. Then he begins to take away this certainty little by little, insinuating him the seed of doubt: maybe he's losing power over you?
And so every now and then don't consider it, you disappear, it creates an aura of mystery around you, sometimes you almost make fun of it. It uses its own technique of the push and pull, and you will see that you will manage to drive him crazy, prompting him to give you more demonstrations and to work hard to regain influence in your life.
But know that a narcissist may come to crave you, but not love you. His feeling will always and only be linked to will to possess, so it will never be a balanced and healthy love.
Finally, if you are interested in deepening the psychology of the narcissist and its functioning within couple relationships, I invite you to read the advanced manual "The Antidote To The Narcissist", which explains all the tricks to make a man with those characteristics, and to make him invest more in your relationship. Find it here.
Well, that's all for this article on the narcissist in love. If you were wondering if the narcissist can fall in love now you will have no more doubts.