Dislike: Why don't some people like us?

    Dislike: Why don't some people like us?

    You are sitting at a table in a bar, you observe a person you do not know and
    decide what works for you unfriendly. The
    same happens with the presenter of the television program you see for the
    first time or with the saleswoman from the new corner store. Why it all happens
    this? Why do we find some people unpleasant and others not?

    To answer this question we need to analyze the two mechanisms:
    induction and deduction. Induction allows us to come to a conclusion
    general starting from particular cases (for example: if I put my hand in the fire
    more than once and I burn myself, I am led to accept that the fire burns).
    Conversely, deduction implies reaching a conclusion
    specific starting from a general premise (for example: fire burns,
    everyone says it and therefore, if I put my hand in the fire, I will burn myself). Obviously,
    induction and deduction are two processes that go hand in hand. Good; then, when we become aware of a new person we need some
    references from which we can start a relationship. The ideal
    it would be to relate without resorting to prejudices and preconceived ideas, but
    we normally have a certain fear of strangers and uncertainty;
    then, faced with the new, we look for previous situations in our mind
    that we need as a reference to act more confidently in the situation
    where we are. These references are different, and normally the process takes place at
    unconscious level. So, when we know a new person, we value them in
    a few minutes or seconds (the way she dresses, the color of her skin, the
    form of speaking, walking, gesticulating and facial features… all those little ones
    details that we have immediately available). All this information
    is already included in our "database" (in psychology it is said that it is part of
    our mental schemes), and therefore, we only have to apply the processes of
    induction or deduction thus drawing the conclusion that the person is there
    nice or unpleasant. Where do we draw this conclusion? From our experiences
    spend with people who have had similar behaviors or traits and with ours
    prejudices about how people who have them are and behave
    characteristics similar to those we are considering. But these initial conclusions need not be unassailable. Indeed,
    whenever we perceive new information (gestures, words or other details),
    we include them in this image we are making of each other and, based
    to the mental flexibility that each of us has, these new ones
    information can get to change the perception of dislike or not
    of sympathy. Normally, the more time passes the closer we get to one
    real image of the other and we will abandon the deduction process. At this point we must be extremely careful not to rush the
    risk that "the prophecy is fulfilled". How to say; when we don't have the
    mental flexibility necessary and we categorize a person as unpleasant,
    we could take a partial perception and add every new detail
    as in support of our initial belief (even if the reality is different). At this point, we can understand that the really important thing
    it is not the initial evaluation that reports a liking or disliking (given
    that we often cannot avoid this process) but rather succeed in
    be open enough mentally so that we can change ours
    initial evaluation.
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