Disenchantment in the couple: how to identify it in time?

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Louise Hay


Disenchantment in the couple: how to identify it in time?

Last update: June 14, 2015

When we start dating someone, we make a lot of promises, we don't notice the other's flaws, we think we'll be together forever, etc. Unfortunately, however, those promises always made with good intentions may have to deal with some problems, and life can take an unexpected turn.

For example, frequent arguments, distance or even ups and downs in the sexual desire of one of the two could arise. These differences can become more relevant when a couple marries or decides to move in together as they begin to share more responsibilities, and the time spent together becomes more and more, while the individual time decreases.

For many people, this rapprochement that they previously wanted so much becomes heavy, and adapting is very difficult. These are times when many couples realize that they don't work as well as they thought they were or that they are incompatible. However, in many cases they continue to cling with their nails to a relationship that goes on simply by inertia. A set of bad habits which, moreover, makes them unhappy.

Many couples think that fighting bravely to overcome these challenges will strengthen their relationship. The problem, however, is that not always both have the same goal, and this can lead to a feeling of frustration, dissatisfaction and disappointment.

In moments like this it is important to regenerate the love that existed in the beginning, before it disappears completely. Because, at that point, there is no therapy or medicine that can heal the relationship.

The loss of enthusiasm in the couple is not a problem that occurs overnight, but it manifests itself little by little. It is like an ant that accumulates bread crumbs in its anthill. In most cases, we don't realize what is happening because we are too busy with other matters, such as work, commitments, children, personal growth, etc.

According to experts, the disenchantment process is a gradual process, given by the accumulation of one disappointment after another. If you stay alert and pay attention to the appearance of the following warning signs in the couple, you can avoid separating and, above all, recover the magic of the early days..

Signs of disenchantment in the couple

1 - Inability to change one's point of view: when a crisis occurs in the couple, often both parties take a clear position and would be willing to "die" rather than change their minds. It is really difficult to accept the other's point of view. But it must be understood that a wedding it is not a battle to be won or lost. Refusing to look at things from another point of view will do no good.

This doesn't even mean that we need to accept everything the other tells us, but be more open to his views. The fastest way to lose interest in us is by showing ourselves inflexible or trying to impose our point of view without even listening to the other's reasons.

So the next time you have a problem, try to calm down and find a solution together. Express what you feel and seek a balance that satisfies both of you.

2 - Desire to escape: that feeling of suffocation, lack of air and loss of freedom does not indicate anything good. Nor is it to refuse to face conflicts and react by slamming the door and come back a few hours later.

Running away can also mean spending less time with each other as well moving away emotionally. This in turn is indicative of a symbolic escape from what is happening inside him or her.

You can sleep with one person every day and be much farther away than someone who lives miles away. The greater the distancing, the greater the disillusionment and all this will diminish the ability to solve problems.

3 - Blame the other: when the feeling of frustration increases, we often try to find a culprit, and we do not always identify it with ourselves. It is very difficult, if not nearly impossible, to look within and accept our responsibility for what is happening.

This does not mean that we are to blame for everything. As we often say, a balance must be found. Do not always take the shortest or easiest path, blaming the other, do not focus only on his mistakes, because this will fuel your disappointment and disenchantment in the couple. Sometimes it is worth saying a "I was wrong"Or" you are right "to recover your bond.

4 - Losing your happiness: if the idea of ​​seeing your partner no longer excites you as before, if you don't care what time he arrives home, if you no longer feel butterflies in your stomach when you see him, if you don't feel happy, if you don't miss him when he goes away for a few days, but even his presence bothers you, you need to stop and reflect on what is happening to you.

If the company of the other does not make you happy and you prefer to do more than stay together, perhaps you should take a step back, evaluate what mistakes you have made and look for a solution.

5 - Focus on defects: always looking for the negative side of the partner is another sign of breakup in the couple. If before you did not see her flaws, now every slightest mistake of her annoys you and makes you fight.

Why didn't you notice it before and now you do? For example, because you have forgotten that you love him / her. Paying attention only to his defects does not allow you to see the good of the other, which is certainly much greater. It is impossible that he has lost all the qualities that made you fall in love, you just have to be able to see them again.

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