"If you really love me, show me: give me a demonstration of love that leaves me no doubt that you really love me, and I will believe you".
A song by Fabrizio De Andrè, the ballad of blind love, tells the story of a man who, in order to show his love to a selfish and insensitive woman, takes his own life at her request.
Without arriving at similar and absurd claims, perhaps we have all tried to find proof, one demonstration of love from those who said they loved us.
Often the frese "semi love then ..." is used not so much to have confirmation as to have power: if the other loves us then he will be forced to show it to us by doing what we ask him.
It is a form of manipulation which is often considered normal in relationships.
Maybe these are small things but it remains an attitude in which we try to obtain their submission from others, to command them.
Whenever we manipulate someone we are supposed to love, our selfishness emerges and our claim that people give us satisfaction in the way we think is best.
Demonstration of love ... or selfishness?
The demonstration of love thus becomes an excuse to make those who do not indulge us feel guilty and induce those who do not want to disappoint us to satisfy our desires and our whims.
Other times this becomes the proof we need to be able to trust others, as if without this "baptism" they are not worthy of our trust.
Here lies the real deception of demonstrations of love: they have nothing to do with love.
To love means to give to others without asking for anything in return, and therefore it would be useless to get a demonstration of the love of others, since we do not expect it.
The proof makes no sense why se we love, we let others be free to do the same, to choose whether to love us or not, while a demonstration is a way to impose our will on others.
It also hides the idea that we have the power over them to make them happy and this depends on the proof we seek.
Are you a selfish person?
Answer the 7 questions in my selfishness test.It will allow you to understand if (and to what extent) you are a selfish person.
Start quiz Continue Complete the form below to see the results Leave your name and email to subscribe to my newsletter and receive the test result. Your name: Your email: I consent to the processing of my data in compliance with the privacy regulations. Show results
Love is not shown, it is offered
A demonstration of love always arises, then, from the claim that people "love" us in our own way, according to our ideas: he loves me if he does what I say it means that he must adapt, he must change and become as I want.
By claiming this we do not give space to love.
There is no point in asking someone for a show of love: if he loves us, he does it because he wants and we are certainly not judges of his love (which in that case would become such for us only if it conforms to our claims).
Furthermore, loving means giving to others and not expecting anything, not even that they love us or that they show it.
More than love the demonstration in question is proof of dependence, insecurity and immaturity emotional of those who ask for it.
Demonstration, therefore, of not knowing how to love. But also opportunity to start living differently and making love a force capable of truly transforming our life.