Crying does not mean being weak, but being alive

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Robert Maurer
@robertmaurer
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All emotions are not equal and do not have the same degree of acceptance in our society. The most accredited emotion is happiness, basically because it is a sign of security, trust and success. So we are forced to pretend to be apparently happy, we always reply that we are fine and show a smile, but inside we are desperate. Happiness ensures social success, makes us gain new friends and conveys an image of success; sadness, on the other hand, is considered a negative emotion, an emotion that we should hide and of which we should be ashamed. Expressions of sadness, such as hunched shoulders, sad eyes, and tears, are considered signs of weakness and insecurity. However, sadness and tears also play their part, the film exemplified that perfectly "Inside Out" of Pixar.A company that pretends that we are always happy and cheerful, ready to take over the world, is just a terribly unfair company. Because that's not how we work, we often grieve and cry. Stigmatizing sadness and crying only makes us feel worse, because we think we are not strong enough to handle problems without being overwhelmed.But in reality, people who have the courage to express their sadness and cry, have a greater emotional balance. than those who suppress tears and hide their feelings. An Irish proverb says that "Tears shed are bitter, but even more bitter are those that are not shed".

Why are crying people more emotionally balanced?

1. They don't repress their emotionsIf you feel full of joy, do you hide your smile? If you hear a noise in the house during the night, are you afraid? So there is no reason to hide the sadness. Only self-confident people with good emotional intelligence are able to recognize and express their emotions, even if they are considered "negative". It takes a lot of courage to go against the grain and express who you really are or how you feel at a given moment. In fact, the philosopher Seneca said that "there is no greater reason to cry than not being able to cry." Numerous studies have linked emotional repression to an increased risk of developing diseases such as asthma, hypertension and heart disease. A study conducted at Stanford University found that people who often repress their emotions overreact to pressure and stress, resulting in a greater increase in blood pressure than people classified as anxious. This indicates that "apparent calm" is not really good for our emotional balance.
2. They take advantage of the tears to change their perspectiveDid you know that tears relieve stress, anxiety, pain and frustration? Tears are not only pure water with which to wash the soul, but also (literally) wash our eyes, allowing us to see the situation from another perspective. Tears do not empty us, on the contrary, they strengthen us and allow us to grow. The Uruguayan poet Sara Ibàñez had already said: “I will cry without haste. I will cry until I forget the crying and find the smile again. ”In fact, 70% of people think that crying is comforting. The point is that crying allows us to see the situation from a more positive perspective. When we stop crying, our minds are clearer and, even if it will immediately seem difficult to rearrange our ideas, in a few minutes we will be more peaceful and able to analyze the situation from another perspective. This is because our emotions have reached a balance and our rational mind is ready for action.
3. They know that crying is therapeuticDid you know that crying stimulates the release of endorphins in the brain, hormones that help us not only relieve pain, but also promote a state of relaxation and peace? Because of this, after we stop crying, we feel much better and more relaxed. In fact, it has been found that it is not convenient to stop crying but it is better to let it vent because the first phase has only an activating effect, while the second phase has a calming effect that reduces heart and respiratory rate, leading to a state of relaxation. Sometimes, crying is more beneficial than laughter. A study conducted at the University of Florida found that crying is profoundly therapeutic, especially when it acts as a "relational remedy," that is, when it brings us closer to other people. they offer us consolation. Sad crying, which is intended to create new bonds after a loss, has also been found to have enormous cathartic power.
4. They don't fit social expectationsPeople who are not afraid to cry feel much freer, they are able to express themselves without being bound by social conventions. These people are not afraid to let others down, much less to show their alleged weakness, because they know that crying doesn't really involve any of this. Those who cry are willing to follow their instincts and don't want to feel conditioned by social expectations. This awareness allows them to be freer and live by their own rules. These people are real "activists" fighting for an emotionally healthier society in which people are not forced to hide their feelings.
5. They connect emotionally through tearsCrying is one of the most intimate expressions of our feelings. When we cry in front of someone, it is as if we are baring our souls. Therefore, tears help to create a very special bond, it is as if we connect directly through our deepest "I." When a person "accepts" this sadness, without trying to escape from it or provide false words of encouragement, but it simply supports us and stays next to us, a unique connection is created. In fact, one of the functions of tears is precisely to ask for help, albeit indirectly, by showing our helplessness and vulnerability, so that others come to comfort us.Therefore, crying and sadness should not be perceived as a sign of weakness, but as a sign of inner strength and awareness. We do not cry because we are weak or incapable, but because we are alive and we are not ashamed to express what we feel. So let's listen to the Argentine poet Oliverio Girondo: “Cry with a clear tear. Crying out loud ... Crying it all, but crying it well (...) Crying for love, disgust and happiness ... "
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