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    Criticizing constructively, six rules

    Who I am
    Louise Hay
    @louisehay
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    Criticize
    it's easy, constructive criticism is an art. Sometimes it seems like the criticism is entered directly
    in our DNA, avoiding criticizing others always turns out to be a lot to us
    hard. In fact, I challenge you to go a full day without criticizing anything and
    nobody. Certainly after a few hours you will find yourself criticizing something either
    someone.

    However,
    criticism does not necessarily have to be negative but it can also become a
    foothold for growth; in this case I refer to criticism
    constructive. The target
    essential of constructive criticism is to stimulate change
    favorable that it benefits the other (and this is the idea that we will always have to
    keep in mind when we're going to criticize). Too often we make the mistake
    to analyze only our point of view without taking into account the
    needs or purposes of others. For this, before criticizing, it is
    it is necessary to open our minds and ask ourselves if our criticism can
    really bring something positive to the other. TO
    this point you can understand that making constructive criticism that helps the other to
    growing up is not an easy task; however there are some rules that can
    help: 1. Doing self criticism:
    Are we criticizing a mistake that we ourselves tend to make? We suggest a
    a person who is more flexible when we are not? Normally the
    criticism is gladly accepted when it comes from a trusted and mature person.
    This means that the technique: “you do
    what I say but not what I do ”does not apply to criticism
    constructive. 2. Customize:
    the more personalized the criticism, the more likely it is
    effect. Speaking in a general sense does not help, it is better to determine
    in detail the goal and make it perceive in a concise and personalized way
    in the case we face. 3. Criticize the results and
    behavior
    and not
    people
    : the fact that someone has done something wrong does not mean
    that he is incompetent. The fact that he behaved in a rigid manner of
    facing a situation does not mean that he is a bad person. In the end,
    when we criticize we must be careful of the words used. A critique
    constructive is not meant to make the other feel bad but rather to
    to help him, in short, we do not criticize him as a person but rather emphasize
    errors in its results or behavior. 4. Use the appropriate tone: the target
    of constructive criticism is not to win the other but to
    convince him of the problems or mistakes he is making. Finally, the tone of
    who knows everything and shows himself to be overbearing, is not the most adequate. We try to
    assume the attitude of the friend or companion who wishes to suggest a
    change. 5. Look for the right time: In
    certain occasions, especially in public places or when the person is a lot
    emotionally compromised, it is better to postpone criticism for another time. Self
    we really want the other person to change, we will have to wait for them to find themselves
    in an adequate emotional condition that allows him to listen to ours
    advice. 6. Offer suggestions and support: a
    Sometimes, however constructive the criticism may be, we cast it as if
    it was a hot potato. That is, we point out what is not working but without suggesting
    a possible solution. This causes discomfort and distress in the person who
    she is criticized for feeling lost and abandoned. For this, before
    to criticize, it would be better to think about what the possible options would be for
    change what's wrong. If we don't have solutions at hand to offer,
    then it is advisable to at least offer our support to find one together
    solution.
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