Criticize
it's easy, constructive criticism is an art. Sometimes it seems like the criticism is entered directly
in our DNA, avoiding criticizing others always turns out to be a lot to us
hard. In fact, I challenge you to go a full day without criticizing anything and
nobody. Certainly after a few hours you will find yourself criticizing something either
someone.
criticism does not necessarily have to be negative but it can also become a
foothold for growth; in this case I refer to criticism
constructive. The target
essential of constructive criticism is to stimulate change
favorable that it benefits the other (and this is the idea that we will always have to
keep in mind when we're going to criticize). Too often we make the mistake
to analyze only our point of view without taking into account the
needs or purposes of others. For this, before criticizing, it is
it is necessary to open our minds and ask ourselves if our criticism can
really bring something positive to the other. TO
this point you can understand that making constructive criticism that helps the other to
growing up is not an easy task; however there are some rules that can
help: 1. Doing self criticism:
Are we criticizing a mistake that we ourselves tend to make? We suggest a
a person who is more flexible when we are not? Normally the
criticism is gladly accepted when it comes from a trusted and mature person.
This means that the technique: “you do
what I say but not what I do ”does not apply to criticism
constructive. 2. Customize:
the more personalized the criticism, the more likely it is
effect. Speaking in a general sense does not help, it is better to determine
in detail the goal and make it perceive in a concise and personalized way
in the case we face. 3. Criticize the results and
behavior and not
people: the fact that someone has done something wrong does not mean
that he is incompetent. The fact that he behaved in a rigid manner of
facing a situation does not mean that he is a bad person. In the end,
when we criticize we must be careful of the words used. A critique
constructive is not meant to make the other feel bad but rather to
to help him, in short, we do not criticize him as a person but rather emphasize
errors in its results or behavior. 4. Use the appropriate tone: the target
of constructive criticism is not to win the other but to
convince him of the problems or mistakes he is making. Finally, the tone of
who knows everything and shows himself to be overbearing, is not the most adequate. We try to
assume the attitude of the friend or companion who wishes to suggest a
change. 5. Look for the right time: In
certain occasions, especially in public places or when the person is a lot
emotionally compromised, it is better to postpone criticism for another time. Self
we really want the other person to change, we will have to wait for them to find themselves
in an adequate emotional condition that allows him to listen to ours
advice. 6. Offer suggestions and support: a
Sometimes, however constructive the criticism may be, we cast it as if
it was a hot potato. That is, we point out what is not working but without suggesting
a possible solution. This causes discomfort and distress in the person who
she is criticized for feeling lost and abandoned. For this, before
to criticize, it would be better to think about what the possible options would be for
change what's wrong. If we don't have solutions at hand to offer,
then it is advisable to at least offer our support to find one together
solution.
