Do you think luck is an important factor in a long, happy and fulfilling relationship? Maybe yes, but other variables or factors are also at play, with equal or greater weight and that we can control.
Last update: April 25, 2022
There is a tendency to think that the positive relationship typical of successful couples is more a matter of luck… But that's not entirely true. Short loves are not complicated, they do not require "too much love" or "too much effort". Furthermore, the passion of the early days may not last over time.
Couples who have long-lasting relationships, on the other hand, seem to share certain qualities, habits, and a dedication that make the relationship much more satisfying.
Moreover, individuals in a long-lasting couple tend to be in excellent health. Many studies have shown that those in a happy relationship live longer and have low rates of heart disease and higher cancer survival rates than singles or divorcees.
This fact seems related to the concept of mutual care that occurs within functioning couples. They are couples who still cherish love and care for each other. How do they do it? Let's find out what a healthy and lasting relationship is based on.
Couples that work, what's the secret?
Although it may seem strange, an absent or poor communication within the couple is at the origin of many problems that end up causing them to break up. Let's talk about effective communication. Far from exhausting monologues, criticisms or repeating what you want, need or want.
Over 60% of divorces are caused by communication problems. Respect, understanding, and tact are aspects that all working couples share when it comes to communication.
In this sense, knowing how to express oneself assertively, knowing how to listen with the right attitude and wanting to understand what the other wants to communicate are just some of the characteristics of a fluid and effective communication in all areas of life.
Not all interests are common in couples that work
Codependency is a fatal blow to almost any relationship; certainly, we do not find it in couples that work. Keeping passions, interests and worries separate seems to be fertile ground for a lasting relationship to thrive.
It is essential to have your own spaces and times and to respect them mutually. If we do not keep part of our life separate from our partner, we risk not having stimuli. It is about sharing quality time together and in order to do this neither of us has to rely entirely on the other.
It is necessary to carry out some activities together and others separately, to give space to the professional, creative interests or hobbies of the partner without getting involved. In the end, it is necessary to know how to appreciate the successes of the couple, as well as the losses, but always respecting the reciprocal spaces.
The sexual sphere in functioning couples
Last year, a survey of 30.000 people was conducted on the relationship between sexual intercourse and happiness levels. The results showed that couples with regular sexual activity also reflected a high level of satisfaction.
Demonstrations of affection, beyond sex, proved to be another deciding factor. The gestures that make people feel appreciated and loved, such as holding hands, hugs, kisses, and words of love, are part of the habits of couples that work.
Equitable sharing of responsibilities
It sounds trite and repetitive, but couples who don't evenly distribute rights and duties run a greater risk of breaking up. Typically, one of the two ends up feeling responsible for the other in more paternalistic than romantic terms.
Taking care of each other means exactly that: that both are very clear about their rights and duties in the couple and that both respect them, appreciate them and value them. It's the best way to avoid the constant grievances and grievances of an unfair relationship for either of you.
Couples that work know how to disagree
Couples that work also disagree. Coexistence is not always roses and flowers, and having personal opinions, we will not always agree on everything with the partner.
The secret lies not in never having a different opinion, but in knowing how to speak in the face of a disagreement. They do not defend their positions if the other strikes treacherously in an argument.
Taking responsibility for your emotional states and knowing how to manage them, in addition to respecting the partner's opinion, they constitute another of the pillars on which a long-term relationship is based. Of course, this predisposition must be reciprocal, in fact it does not matter if one works for the good functioning of the couple if the other does not do it at all.