Complacency can give us peace at certain times, but it can also transform us into people at the mercy of the wind: without the will or aspiration to control the surrounding environment. We present the consequences of this habit.
Last update: July 29, 2022
In a world that pushes us to constantly improve, being at peace with ourselves is one of the strongest pillars of our well-being. However, this pillar is not immune to the attack of some erosive agents, such as extreme or systematic conformism. Similar levels dcomplacency can slow us down and condemn us to unhappiness.
First of all, we are not obligated to improve in any area or make changes that we do not want. Personal development is just that, personal. Just because the partner loves sports doesn't mean we should do it too; if a friend is very attentive to the diet, he does not mean that we have to imitate him.
Each person is different and is more motivated or inclined to work on certain aspects. Not all of them have to coincide, nor does every moment go well. However, if there is an aspect of your life that causes discomfort that you want to improve, complacency can prevent us from achieving it.
What is complacency?
Complacency is defined as the feeling of satisfaction with one's way of being or acting. We are satisfied with our person and what we do; we feel that we are already where we should be and that we are doing what we should be doing. It is about acceptance and the ability to be at peace with one's reality.
In light of this, complacency has a bright and positive side, since it allows us to accept what happens and that we cannot change.
It is evident that there is a part of our life that we cannot change and fight it wears us out. In this way, being satisfied with one's stature or one's innate temperament (unchanging aspects) can save us a lot of suffering.
Turns out also useful for those people who tend to be very demanding and rigid. Those who feel they have to give more and more, who are never up to par, who need to improve. In these cases, learning to appreciate your worth, recognize your merits, and accept the here and now is very healthy. Similarly, however, excessive complacency is counterproductive in several ways.
Excessive complacency: an obstacle to moving forward
The dark side of complacency leads us to ignore our responsibilities. Those responsibilities we have towards ourselves, that is to take care of ourselves, grow and take charge of our life.
Accusation and victimization
If we feel satisfied with who we are and what we do, but are still dissatisfied with our life, we have no choice but to blame an outside agent.
We therefore place the responsibility on our parents, bosses, friends or partners. We become convinced that they are the cause of our frustration and unhappiness, because they don't behave as they should.
In this self-delusion, the person feels that he has already done everything he can and that if something goes wrong it is no longer his business. But it is the lack of self-criticism that prevents change. Ultimately, everyone is responsible for their own life.
Complacency also leads to being overly self-indulgent and forgiving oneself for multiple transgressions. For example, if I set myself the goal of starting training on Monday, but it's Thursday and I haven't started yet, I create a horrible precedent: I can't trust myself.
Complacency hides behind short-term comfort and reinforcement. When I don't feel like training, I am convinced that there is nothing wrong, that I already lead a fairly healthy life or that I deserve to rest.
However, when this attitude is repeated day after day, it impedes my progress; a progress that I have set for myself and that I want to achieve, but for which I am not committed.
Overly self-complacent people tend to praise themselves and brag about every little achievement, neglecting the possibilities for improvement. This is what happens to parents who overly reward and praise their children: their words are empty.
Self-esteem is built on the basis of facts, the challenges overcome, the objectives set and achieved, the successes achieved. When you accept everything, you find excuses and you are not honest with yourself, it is easy to feel less capable and more unmotivated.
Being cleverly pleased
Complacency cannot be said to be negative. To some extent (and especially for some people), in fact, it is extremely positive. However, it is important to find a balance along with self-criticism and self-demand.
If we are too conformist, permissive and self-indulgent, we run the risk of being trapped in unsatisfactory realities. Remember: accept what you cannot change, but work on what you can and want to change.