It is essential to realize when a phase of life ends
, because if we stay too long in the same, we lose the joy and risk that all the beautiful experiences we have lived are tinged with gray. It often happens in relationships. When a relationship is mortally wounded, prolonging the end only brings out the worst in each side and ends with a bitter taste in the mouth. the same thing. It means letting go of people or experiences that made sense at a given moment but no longer have it. It means turning the page and opening up to new experiences and of course, it's not easy.
The emotional vertigo of the past
The past is part of us, it has helped to make us what we are. We can't just hide it because it will come back sooner or later. Therefore, it is essential to learn to fix things with our past. Only when we take on and accept these experiences do we free ourselves from their burden and can continue our journey. In this regard, an experiment conducted at Harvard University reveals the enormous power that the experiences we do not take on our well-being. These psychologists worked with people who had suffered trauma and saw how painful traces were stored in our brains. Each of these people was read a description of their traumatic experience. Meanwhile, their brains were being scanned. Thus it could be observed that those who had suffered from post traumatic stress reacted differently. In practice, areas such as the amygdala, on which emotional responses to fear depend, and the visual cortex were activated. But Broca's area, linked to language, did not show much activity.This and other similar studies reveal that when we do not accept a painful fact it remains active in our brain and every time we remember it we relive it as if it were a question of a real situation. The problem is that we have not closed that chapter of our life, we have not given meaning to the experience and, therefore, we have not transformed it into another narrative experience of our life. Until we close the circle the experience will continue. to cause us pain and suffering. In fact, this can generate an emotional vertigo that prevents us from looking clearly to the future and heal from our wounds.
Learning to let go of what hurts us
There are thousands of reasons why we cling to the past, but among them there is always the fear of the unknown and our tendency to remain in our comfort zone. Even if it sounds contradictory, we are more afraid to take the next step than to continue to suffer by staying where we are.But we cannot live in the present with one foot in the past. What has happened has happened, we have to get rid of its influence because otherwise we will not be able to grow as individuals.In fact, growing up does not only mean appropriating new skills, acquiring knowledge and meeting new people, but it basically means breaking away from the past. To conquer some things we have to let go of others. This means that we must have the courage to close the cycles of our life and leave behind the people or experiences that, even if at a certain moment gave us a lot of happiness, now represent only an obstacle to our growth. ? - Everything that hurts us and generates useless suffering - Everything that takes away our happiness and makes us die a little every day, slowly extinguishing us - Everything that keeps us tied to the past on the basis of false hopes - Everything that is meaningless in our current life and does not fit into our new worldview - All the people who have left us and do not want us to be a part of their life - All those places where we no longer feel comfortable and where we go only out of duty or habit - All those habits, beliefs and attitudes that are an obstacle to the new phase of life we are about to face Closing the circles of life does not it means putting an end to it, but it is rather the beginning of something new.Closing circles hurts, but it is necessary. Of course, closing some chapters of our life is not as easy as it may seem. It often takes time and we have to go through a painful period in which we will experience so many emotions, from anger and resentment to sadness and nostalgia. All of these feelings are completely normal and part of the personal evolution process. The important thing is not to get stuck in any of these, but to experience them and then let them go at the appropriate time. The goal is to make peace with the past so that only serenity remains in its place. In this regard, the myth of the eagle's renewal allows us to better understand the need to close certain chapters of our life: "The eagle is a long-lived bird, but when it reaches the middle of its life it must make a difficult decision. At that point, his nails are too long, rounded and flexible, so that they don't allow him to catch prey. Its beak is also excessively curved and the feathers reach an excessive thickness making it difficult to fly. So that the eagle has only two possibilities: to let itself die or to face a slow and painful process of renewal. It will have to fly to a very high mountain, make a nest and break its beak against the rock. Then he will have to wait for the new beak to grow back with which he will tear off the feathers and nails. It is a long, painful and lonely process of renewal, but the eagle that manages to go all the way will still be able to live many years. "Of course, this is only a metaphor, but, as for the eagle, there are of the moments in life when we have to get rid of some things to move forward.