What does it mean to have charisma, but above all, how can we increase our personal charisma? I'll tell you about it in this new GetPersonalGrowth article.
You know those people who ooze charm even without having uttered a word yet?
You see them entering a room and like a cosmic black hole attract the attention of all present. When they begin to speak, then, silence falls and those around them listen raptly to their words.
If you have been in the presence of any of these charismatic people, you know exactly what I mean.
The question is… can we ourselves become one of these people? With the charisma is it born or can it develop and grow?
Let's find out ...
First of all, let's give the correct definition of charisma ...
Il charisma it is a person's ability to charm, attract and persuade others.
Specifically, the charisma it arises from the union of three elements, which, depending on their weight, determine different styles in the charismatic people we all know.
These three elements are:
- Power. Indicates an individual's ability to influence our environment. A prime minister who signs decrees that can regulate the lives of millions of people has a lot of power. But even the bouncer who chooses who can or cannot enter a club has a "localized" power if that evening our "environment" is the place where we want to enter to dance.
- Presence. It indicates the attention span we give and receive from other people. Charismatic people tend to pay attention to others (listening to them intensely, for example) and at the same time have the ability to attract that attention when they are in the spotlight.
- Heat. Indicates the ability to exercise power and presence on behalf of others. We find charismatic not only people who have power and presence, but who apply these personal "levers" to help us or help causes we care about.
"Technical" definitions aside, there is nothing better to understand what the charisma of an example is and how important it is ...
The charisma that made an exiled queen
She was definitely not a canonical beauty.
He had a long face, pointed chin, low forehead, thin lips, arched nose and very large eyes.
Still, whether she was silent or talking, she was capable of conquer an entire people and two of the most important politicians of ancient history.
Cleopatra is one of the most famous examples of what the charisma can affect a person's life.
A twenty-one years old, deposed and exiled by her brother Ptolemy, doomed to premature death, at a time when women lacked power, freedom and opportunity, became queen and then to govern the whole of Egypt for nearly twenty years.
What was his secret?
Queen Cleopatra was gifted with a magnetism and a charisma uncommon. Not to mention his own initiative: to approach the Roman emperor Caesar was "delivered" wrapped in a carpet.
Like the great orators, revolutionaries, innovators, and artists of history, his presence was imprinted on others and was able to involve and ignite souls.
In short, Cleopatra pushed others to rely on her and want to follow her.
“Anyway 'Andre', here we are talking about a champion of history. At most I pass the carpets with the vacuum cleaner to remove cat hair, how do we put it ?! "
There is no doubt that there are people with an innate charisma, but this does not mean that one's personal charisma cannot increase (after all we have already seen that there are effective and replicable methods for increase our self-esteem).
So here's how to increase ours too charisma it's ours magnetism...
How to increase your charisma (and why you should)
Even if you don't aim to rule an entire nation (if not, remember your friend GetPersonalGrowth…) having more charisma is essential for achieving your personal and professional goals.
In fact, increasing your charisma helps you to:
- Be convincing during a business presentation, a interview or a meeting.
- Positively attract attention e leave a mark in the memory of listeners.
- Conquer the pixy and respect for yours colleghi.
- Effectively manage a working group.
- Be one reference figure within yours family or your circle of friends.
In general, charismatic people find themselves having more possibilities and opportunities in life.
Well, now that we know why being more charismatic is important, let's see how to become one.
To do this, we must first understand that there is no single form of charism ...
The four types of charisma
The preview of this article plays on the classic stereotype of the successful and charismatic man in a suit and tie (the one in the photo is Harvey Specter, one of the protagonists of the Suits series).
As well highlighted by the author Olivia Fox Cabane in his famous book "The Carysma Myth“, They actually exist four forms of charisma (and as you may have guessed, these arise from the different mix of power, presence and warmth ?):
- The charisma of attention, which occurs when someone makes people feel good through their ability to listen carefully and with respect. An example of a person with this kind of "empathic" charisma is the famous American presenter Oprah Winfrey.
- The visionary charisma, given by a complete belief in an idea or cause and the ability to inspire others to pursue it. Here the example that immediately springs to mind is that of Elon Musk, a poorly empathetic person, but whose view of the human species as an interplanetary species is capturing the imaginations of millions.
- The charisma of kindness, present in those who emanate very strong human warmth and are endowed with a high emotional intelligence. The Dalai Lama is the typical example reported in these cases.
- The charisma of authority, given by power and social status. Past dictators and generals are the most used stereotypes. I think of a Napoleon Bonaparte eg.
Knowing these four forms of charisma is the first step to cultivate and develop this personality trait in ways that best reflect your own. values and yours predispositions.
If, for example, you feel a natural repulsion towards those who exercise their charisma by focusing exclusively on power and social status, you can choose to increase the charisma of kindness or attention in you.
Having clarified this point, let's go into even more detail and find out how to increase your charisma by leveraging the 10 qualities that distinguish charismatic people.
The 10 qualities of charismatic people and how to develop them
Robert Greene, famous for his essays on power, seduction and human nature in general, has compiled a list of the 10 qualities of charismatic people, studying the behavior and biographies of hundreds of the most successful emperors, artists, thinkers, scientists and entrepreneurs and prestige of the last 2.000 years.
Let's see together what these 10 qualities are and how you can train them to increase your charisma!
People love get carried away from who knows where it is going.
And the resoluteness she is doubly charismatic in times of crisis or difficulty: where everyone hesitates, those with charisma pursue their goals and show an engaging clarity in dealing with problems.
The success and consideration he enjoyed Roosevelt they are rooted in exactly this: he came to power during the Great Depression of the US economy and showed such safety in addressing the political difficulties that everyone saw him as a savior.
There is nothing more magnetic than a person at peace with herself, who is comfortable where he is, he feels in the right place at the right time and he knows exactly where he wants to go.
- Get used to having clear goals and pursue them with determination. In this article, you can find out how to set really effective goals.
- Learn to do not flinch in the face of difficultiesindeed, he becomes the one who is always able to find a solution even when others seem not to see it.
- "I'll take care of it"Is a decidedly charismatic phrase;)
- Grow constantly yours talents, train, improve yourself.
Every person rich in charisma does not immediately flaunt everything about himself, he always maintains what is necessary veil of reserve that pushes others to become curious and to imagine.
Good news, in short, for the introverts!
- When you are in a work context that you particularly care about or with people you want to involve, be like a open book may turn out reassuring but not charismatic.
- Instead of telling immediately, in the first ten minutes of conversation, details of your life private, hobbies, favorite movies, daily habits, definitions of your personality and other boring amenities, listen, understand what interests your listeners and focus on what you can say cleverly about it - your conversation will be much more fascinating and charismatic.
I am not speaking of religious "holiness", but of "holiness" linked to one's own lifestyles.
Today compromise is on the agenda at work, in the family, in social relationships.
Live according to your own values and ideals and one's beliefs without compromising, despite everything and everyone, gives the impression of one force e freedom huge and, consequently, arouses great admiration.
Think for example of the myth of wake up at 5 in the morning that so fascinates fans of personal growth.
We know that we don't need to wake up at dawn to achieve our goals (although it can help) and we know that it's not a habit for everyone, yet people who can maintain "miraculous" morning routines inspire admiration in us.
- List a series of values, habits e behavior that you consider important for the quality of your life and your personal growth.
- For a few days, dedicate all of yours caution and yours energy to these fundamental aspects for you and eliminate or simplify all the rest. In short, live a few days respecting your values 100%.
- At the end of this experiment, notice what happened: how do you see yourself? How did others start seeing you? Discipline is charismatic.
"That devil of a man [Napoleon] exerts a fascination on me that I cannot even explain to myself, and to such an extent that, although I fear neither God nor the devil, when I am in his presence I tremble like a child, and he would be able to induce me to go through the eye of a needle to throw myself into the fire. "
In addition to gestures, the charisma radiates above all through words.
What we say is striking straight to the heart. It can potentially radically change people's emotional state.
So learn to use words and voice well, especially when yes speak in public, is a key skill to be more charismatic.
- When they ask you a question, don't rush to talk, but count two seconds before answering. In general, learn to speak without breathlessness and taking all the breaks you deem necessary (I'll explain why in this article).
- Emotions are not your enemy when you speak in front of others. In reverse. Use them, accentuate if necessary, and harness their energy in your speeches.
- Learn how breathe well e the rhythm of the voice varies to become more engaging.
- Populate your conversations with images, anecdotes, stories e suggestive words.
Charismatic people are distinguished by their own presence.
But theatricality doesn't necessarily mean being a jester or a prima donna: one calm natural composure sometimes it captures the other interlocutors more than a forced exhibitionism.
The point is to stay as long as possible true to themselves. THE'authenticity it is another important lever of the charisma.
- When you feel most comfortable: when you speak loudly the when whispers? When you move a lot the when stand still? Joking with whoever listens to you or maintaining an attitude very formal?
Pay attention to the answers you give yourself and you will find your “formula of presence” that will help you be more charismatic.
6. Absence of inhibitions
The charismatic person demonstrates a natural fluidity inindulge one's inclinations.
È spontaneous, without fear o stiffness, always willing to do New experiences.
Especially in the artistic field, it reveals an important opening to the unconscious.
He doesn't care what Tizio thinks, how Caio might react or what Sempronio will say.
If it means yes, says yes, if you feel like saying no, say no.
Has the courage to be firm in its decisions. She uses her talents, expresses her way of being unique because she considers that the most important thing.
It was precisely this quality that transformed Picasso from a simple artist into a charismatic character.
- Challenge yourself to try something new every week. Have fun. Life is shorter than we think.
- If you have to remember a sentence from this point, remember this: "the charismatic person if he wants to say yes, says yes, if you feel like saying no, say no". Learn to listen to yourself more and make your decisions accordingly.
"Authentic charisma means the ability to generate inwardly and outwardly express great excitement, a capacity that makes us an object of profound interest and unconscious imitation by others."
If there is a quality that is missing a lot today, it isidealism (not to be confused with ideologism, unfortunately predominant).
In a sea of disillusionment, cynicism, pre-packaged and generalized dogmas apathy, striving for an ideal is as rare as a pearl.
And, precisely because it is so rare, the passionate fervor it is extremely fascinating in the eyes of others.
Think of those characters that have become legendary, like Giovanna D'Arco, who have managed to animate entire countries thanks to their pure passion.
- Find an ideal in your life that is greater than you; Oh no, I'm not suggesting that you turn into yet another activist of the rest of us who wants to teach the world how it's supposed to work and can't even make your own life work. Go beyond pre-packaged ideologies, marry an ideal (this list of values can inspire you) and make it concrete in your daily life.
- Once you've embodied that ideal, become its champion and spread it with passion ed energy. In general, you put energy and passion into everything you do. This attitude can be contagious, it certainly is charismatic!
They convinced us that proving our vulnerabilities was wrong. The exact opposite is true.
In a world of artfully constructed social characters, we crave for a little health authenticity and being authentic also means being vulnerable, it means knowing how to expose our weaknesses, aware of having the strength to face any consequence.
Moreover, those with great charisma are rarely arrogant or rude: love respect (of himself and of others), and that is why he receives respect and admiration from the outside.
Yes, even there courtesy she is charismatic.
- In the next conversation you have, do sincere congratulations if something you like and do not mind express admiration or esteem for others.
9. Spirit of adventure
There are two types of routine:
- the first, characterized by alienating repetition of behaviors and actions that have slowly crept into your daily life (without you even realizing it), it's killing you.
- The second, characterized by the deliberate choice to engage in disciplined repetition of empowering habits is the key to your success.
Grow your own spirit of adventure it therefore means eliminating the alienating routine (the first type of routine), and not your healthy habits.
Indeed, the latter represent the indestructible vessel that will allow you to sail unexplored seas.
It is no coincidence, for example, that the greatest artists and thinkers in history (come to mind Carl Jung e Immanuel Kant), had "rigid" daily habits that they respected no ifs and buts. It was the latter who represented the frame within which they could move freely to "paint" their most daring philosophical and psychological pictures.
- Adopt and discipline a set of healthy habits that help you have the energy, time and creativity you need for your most adventurous explorations.
- Dare every day, expanding, even by just one centimeter, your comfort zones: whether they are in sport, study or work.
Courage is not the absence of fear, but the choice to act in spite of fear.
… And this attitude is fucking fascinating and magnetic. Not just for others, but for yourself!
If you learn to act for what is right and good for you, despite the fear of failure afraid of looking ridiculous fear of the judgment of others, you will become unstoppable.
- Think of something you want and feel you have to do, but are continuing to procrastinate. Now deal with it without hesitation just finished reading this article. Don't give the timid little voice in your head time to come up with a thousand rationalizations for not acting. Follow your instincts, empower yourself.
If you have made it this far, it means that you have invested 20 minutes of your life in your personal improvement. If you want to multiply this investment you have made in yourself and translate it into concrete changes and goals, choose at least one action that you will take by the end of the day to increase your charisma.
Don't delay, in a few minutes you will already be sucked into some other distraction or worry; take advantage of the emotions that this article has aroused in you and use them to make a concrete change in your life. Do it now.