Last update: 10 September, 2022
We all know the movie "Harry meet Sally" or television series like "Friends" in which the friendship between man and woman is portrayed as an almost unattainable relationship, a short transition period destined to lead to a love affair.
The reality, however, is not that of films and TV series: nowadays men and women are used to interacting together in the most diverse situations and friendships between different sexes are now on the agenda.
“Friendship is more difficult and rarer than love. For this, it should be saved at all costs. "
-Alberto Moravia–
Many are convinced that a woman and a man cannot be friends because of the psychological differences between one and the other, as well as for sexual attraction. which would arise between the two and which is incompatible with friendship.
On the other hand, however, there are many cases of individuals who have made friends with people of the opposite sex, arguing that, since men and women give their best and the differences are constructive, the friendship that will be created will be more solid. and lasting.
Studies on friendship between men and women
Some scholars from the University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire, United States, have tried to shed light on the eternal debate concerning the existence of friendship between men and women by realizing a study involving 88 pairs of university students. The interviewees were subjected, both individually and in the presence of the other, to several questions concerning the romantic feelings they had or could have had towards the friend with whom they were participating in the study.
The answers obtained were classified according to three categories: zero attraction, moderate attraction and extreme attraction, also specifying the difference between attraction, esteem and desire.
"Friendship is a soul that lives in two bodies, a heart that lives in two souls."
-Aristotle-
To get an overview, Each interviewee was also asked to write down a complete list of past relationships with the opposite sex, including the circumstances in which the relationship was born (at work, at school, mutual friends ...), the duration of the friendship, the emotions felt, etc.
Results of the study on friendship between men and women
The most surprising aspect that emerged from the results of the study is linked to the different perception that different genders have of the same relationship; in other words, men and women evaluate the relationship in place between them in a distinct way.
According to the conclusions of the research, men feel much more attraction to their female friends and they are also more inclined to believe that they arouse the same sensation in them.
On the contrary, according to what emerged, women behave in a diametrically opposite way: they have little or no attraction to their male friends and tend to believe that the lack of attraction is mutual.
Elements that influence us in the choice of friendships
The sociologist of Cardiff University and author of "Girls, Boys and Junior Sexualities", Professor Emma Renold, has carried out a study aimed at analyzing the reasons behind the daily behaviors of children and adolescents, going beyond the opinions of adults.
The general idea is that if you have a girlfriend, you are a winner. The culture of engagement is so widespread that adolescents feel compelled to seek a partner at an increasingly early age, when they are still discovering their sexuality.
"Perfect love is a friendship with erotic moments."
-Antonio Gala-
Teens are also heavily influenced by their circle of friends and schoolmates, dimensions in which being engaged is considered a symbol of status and popularity. Not having the boy / girl, in some cases, can be considered by others as a stigmatization and therefore lead to marginalization.
In reality, it is not just about the strong influence of the mass media and the continuous flow of advertising to which we are subjected, but the fact that having a partner strengthens the image offered to others, giving an idea of ​​power.
However, It is important to learn to live friendship between different sexes exactly like a friendship between people of the same sex, that is, in a healthy and honest way. It is important to let yourself be carried away and enjoy your friends and the wonderful moments spent together, truly appreciating everything they bring to our life.
