The answer to the question that gives the title to this article will depend on the experiences of the couple and whether or not they have overcome the bereavement following the breakup. Let's see it in detail.
Last update: January 23, 2022
Can we really become friends with the ex partner? Can friendship exist after love? Is such a relationship healthy when love is over? Do you manage to be friends or do you simply establish a cordial relationship?
It would be a shame to think that after a good relationship and part of the shared life path, there could be no bond beyond memories. I refuse to think that we cannot do better, that together with love, words and moments together are also finished. Surely there is some chance of establishing a friendship after lovemaking.
Maybe the secret is not to consume the relationship too much, do not reach a point where the wound tears the bone. Do not submerge the surviving love in hatred, say see you soon and in another way, rather than goodbye, know how to get away.
Maybe we can't call it friendship, maybe it will never be an intimate relationship again, but you don't stop knowing each other well. An ex is someone we appreciate and that doesn't necessarily have to go away. In any case the situation is not the same for all relationships, each deserves a separate chapter.
Are there always ashes where there was love before?
Time can be our best ally. To close wounds, heal scars and offer a new point of view in which resentment dissipates: one in which we are able to recover a certain objectivity to calibrate the balance in which positive and negative things are weighed.
Are there still ashes? Maybe yes, it will be difficult to see the partner with a stranger as well as a friend. He will hardly stop being an important person, as we have shared part of our life with him / her.
If we have been together, something has united us. Even if the relationship ends, some of the former complicity doesn't necessarily have to cease to exist.
That the ashes remain is not a bad thing, we can take advantage of it to know that although today is different, there was a day when something united us and we continue to have the pleasure of meeting from time to time and savoring a beautiful, healthy bond. and fun that once made us happy and that today it continues to give us precious moments.
First I will have to take care of myself, sometimes I will need to leave and when I am healthy and all my emotional wounds have been covered I will be able to see the other person who was once love, but today is just friendship. A beautiful relationship with which we can share a part of ourselves, without already being something essential and of the daily life of my life.
Positive and negative aspects of friendship after love
Thinking that friendship is the natural consequence of love, we could make a serious mistake. As anticipated, it is common to take some time to reorganize the relationship.
Haste is a bad advisor in some cases, and continuing to maintain contact when the feelings and pain are still present can only hurt more.
If one day there was love between two people, it means that they are united by a bond, that they know each other, that they cherish affection, so why not continue to take care of each other and maintain a friendly relationship.
If the wounds are closed, it can be the beginning of a new phase, where friendship after love is possible, as long as you want it on both sides.
Not wearing out love to the point of ruining any bond is essential. When we treat the other person badly, there are third parties involved, there is pain, resentment, revenge, the foundation is laid for a barrier to any possible subsequent relationship; a brake on any relationship or bond after the end of love.
Why not maintain a beautiful relationship with someone special with whom we once shared our life? Why would you want to break contact with someone who was previously extremely important?
Just give yourself time, heal and indulge the possibility of creating new bonds with the person who has shared part of their path. Intimacy will be different, but complicity must not be the same.
Does friendship exist after love? There is no definitive answer
We can give two answers to this question: “you can't be friends with your ex” and “yes, of course”. The mind tends to dichotomy, to "yes" and "no". But that's not always the case.
Don't force a friendship relationship with your ex partner only because other couples have maintained a friendly relationship. Not all relationships end the same.
First of all, the wounds caused by the breakup must be allowed to heal and this takes time. Once this is done, you will have to feel a feeling of closeness to the ex partner. Many people don't feel it.
When you consider the relationship over and you don't see the point of forming a friendship, why do it? Life is made up of phases. We shared a pleasant experience, but nothing inside of us pushes us to maintain friendship after love, so better not to force things.
There are people who, naturally and without forcing, break up and continue to nurture a beautiful friendship. But we should not insist on establishing such a relationship because it seems nice or ideal to us. Let's do it only if desired by both of us.
If not, it doesn't make any sense. Because another aspect to take into consideration is that many stories don't end well and it's impossible to remain friends. Every relationship is different and one should not generalize that friendship exists after love.