The days go by without anything new happening, there are no stimuli and we feel bored. We may even come to think that we already know everything about each other. But then, how to avoid monotony in a couple relationship?
Last update: 21 September, 2022
Sometimes it is inevitable that the routine will peep out in a couple relationship. The days go by without anything new happening, there are no stimuli and we feel bored. We may even come to think that we already know everything about each other. But then, how to avoid monotony in the couple relationship?
Jessica Schainer, a renowned clinical psychologist expert in couple relationships, states that «as happens with food, even couple relationships must be“ seasoned ”with always different ingredients». But what are the ingredients to add to our relationship? Maybe we have been using the same ones for a long time and we need a bit of novelty to recover that different touch and to be able to savor our relationship again. Let's see in more detail how to avoid monotony in the couple relationship.
The routine in the couple
At the beginning of a relationship, we are overwhelmed by passion and enthusiasm. Everything seems to be perfect, idyllic and incredible. However, with the passage of time, the routine peeps out and gradually cages us. It is as if we always make the same plans, as if we always maintain the same sexual habits and surprise and novelty have no place in our lives.
This situation is nothing more than a phase of the couple relationship; the problem arises when it goes unnoticed and takes over the relationship. In doing so, disillusionment, boredom and dissatisfaction will emerge and the relationship may begin to deteriorate.
That is why it is so important to pay attention to the situation and check, from time to time, how we are doing. It is equally important to try not to implement automatic mechanisms, since originality plays an important role in the universe of love.
Feeding the flame of love, foreseeing the surprise effect in our daily life and carrying out different activities is a thing for two. For this reason, it is important for both partners to propose something different to keep interest alive and to awaken feelings. Without a doubt, it will be a good way to find new points of view and to save the relationship from monotony.
The principle of equality does not destroy the imagination, but forces it to fly low to the ground.
-Alexis de Tocqueville-
Secrets to avoid monotony in the couple relationship
Now that we know how routine can settle, it's time to delve into some ideas that will help us avoid the monotony in the relationship and escape from boredom. We just have to make room for improvisation and creativity.
Don't plan everything
Organizing our daily life is normal, but everything has a limit. We can plan our goals and our work obligations, our personal goals or projects with friends and our partner. However, it is important to take into account that if we plan everything, it will be difficult to surprise us. If we always do the same things with our partner day after day, boredom will soon appear.
In this case, the habit can be very harmful. However, it is not necessary to improvise everything, just look for moments and activities that involve risk and adventure. For example, instead of going to the beach with the whole family, why not organize a couple's getaway in a romantic hotel? Or maybe you might like an escape to a nearby destination or simply go for dinner one evening under the same ... The options are many!
Don't overlook the details
Lack of time and boredom make us lose the passion for details. Yet that stolen kiss, that touch more intentional than casual, that little unexpected surprise… are all important.
Don't turn your back on these little gestures, powerful words or overwhelming looks. In love, everything is valid, everything counts. Anything can be an extra ingredient to rekindle the passion.
Take care of yourself
If you don't love yourself, you can hardly love another person. Affection for your partner begins with yourself, so you must give yourself the importance you deserve. Accept your mistakes, but also your successes and merits. Love each other.
It is also important that lack of time does not stop you from taking care of yourself and enjoying your free time. Take some time for yourself.
New activities in bed to avoid monotony
One of the big problems in everyday life as a couple is sexual habits. Whenever a moment of intimacy comes, everything becomes repetitive and boring. Why not try new experiences then? Why not talk about it and include news during sexual intercourse?
This does not mean having to do pair swaps, read the Kamasutra or try similar things. Sometimes it is enough to change positions, try different foreplay games or play erotic games. The important thing is to talk about it and do nothing that is not to our liking.
Also action and exoticism can avoid monotony and awaken passion in a couple relationship. Have you ever thought about doing something a little different? For example, an extreme sport such as parachuting, a rafting descent, try a different dish than usual… Just think of something that awakens us and that allows us to laugh and vibrate in unison.
Regularity, order and perfection destroy art. Irregularity is the basis of any type of art.
Knowing how to communicate to avoid monotony
And obviously, communication cannot be missed. If you are unable to speak, to convey what you need, to express feelings and to find meeting points, it will be quite difficult to feel comfortable in the relationship. This is important and fundamental to be accomplices and, of course, to get to know each other.
Avoiding monotony in a relationship that has fallen victim to routine is neither impossible nor difficult. Even with very small changes, sometimes a lot can be achieved. You will only need enthusiasm, predisposition, effort and be willing to let yourself be carried away by novelty and surprise. Courage, try it!