After a goodbye, we are no longer who we used to be

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Joe Dispenza

After a goodbye, we are no longer who we used to be

Last update: October 28, 2015

When we say goodbye to people, something breaks inside of us. It could be said that the break occurs within our illusions, in our hopes, in our feelings. From that moment, a part of us disappears forever, indeed, sometimes it comes to torment us.


For this reason, those who in life have had to say goodbye to something or someone important, know that, after a goodbye, you never go back to what you were before. We are left with a certain nostalgia, regret.

After all, a goodbye is a bereavement, whether it's forced or not. It is a process made up of a succession of moments, some of which are painful, which make us feel the need to cling to something impossible. All of this can be a source of disruption, and what's left of us after the farewell will undergo a change.

Nothing is permanent, everything is transformed

People change, and with them, relations with the rest of the world. You change despite wanting the opposite with all your might, and even those times when you are willing to resign yourself in order not to face the moment of "letting go", when you are forced to give up something you think you need .

This last point is important since, as has already been said on several occasions, the feeling of necessity limits our freedom, subjecting ourselves to the expectations and behaviors of others. If we don't take care of this, we will be the meat for toxic relationships.

From another point of view, farewells are like sweet sentences. Even if it sounds paradoxical, they are sweet, as they allow us to feel and savor all the bitterness of the moment, to then offer us the opportunity to bask in the pleasure of what will come next: emotional freedom.


Sometimes, goodbyes are necessary to find yourself, which becomes tremendously difficult if you live clinging to and anchored to certain feelings, people, places or activities.


Don't forget to close the wounds of your emotional past


It is always important to know when a stage in life ends. If you insist on locking yourself in it more than necessary, you lose the joy and sense of the rest. It is necessary to know how to turn the page, it is necessary to know how to close certain doors, it is necessary to know how to conclude certain chapters.

The important thing is to know how to close the circle and let certain moments in life come to an end.

We cannot stay in the present with nostalgia for the past. Nor by constantly asking ourselves why. What happened, happened. We must dissolve it, we must get rid of it. We cannot remain children forever, nor late adolescents, nor employees of non-existent companies, nor keep ties with those who do not wish to have ties with us.

The facts pass and you have to let them go. 

Paulo Coelho

Before starting a new stage, we must learn to close many others. Healing the wounds of our emotional past is a painful and complicated process, yet each of us has at least one still open wound linked to our emotional and sentimental past, a wound that disturbs our present and that could come to determine our future.

It is normal to feel dizzy in the face of the emotional abyss of a goodbye. As well as when we have to look down from a great height, but our mind prevents us from doing so.

In these cases, however, something has sunk down the cliff of emotions, and although it is now impossible to recover, it is essential to try to visualize it to accept the idea that it was destroyed during the fall. That is to say that it is essential to see that piece that was part of our life to believe that it has now detached from us, it no longer belongs to us. It was nice while it lasted, sure, but it turned into a scourge that prevented us from moving forward on the path of our life.

Ultimately, when you have to say goodbye to someone, be grateful, because each goodbye offers you the opportunity to learn the essential rudiments to deal with what life has in store for you.


Imagine what it could be like to go back to feeling yourself, accept and let go of everything that no longer belongs to you, finally being able to walk lightly. Of course there are no words in the dictionary that can describe this pleasant and wonderful sensation ...


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