Addictions that make you unhappy

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Robert Maurer
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Addictions that make you unhappy

Some addictions, if well managed, can contribute to our personal development. Others, however, prevent us from growing. It is important to identify and break them.

Last update: July 28, 2020

Addictions are a reality of the human being: we all, in some way, depend on something or someone. They are not negative per se, but they do require attention. It is necessary to modulate them, so that they do not interfere with the chosen path or with personal growth. There are, in fact, some addictions that make you unhappy.



Certain "reasonable" addictions, if properly managed, are even healthy. It is, for example, interdependence with a partner or family members. In this case it is a need, a reciprocity that binds us in an intimate way and that without limiting freedom or growth strengthens our emotional world.

“Because no one can know for you. Nobody can grow up for you. Nobody can search for you. Nobody can do for you what you yourself have to do. Existence does not admit representatives. "

-Jorge Bucay-

Other addictions, on the other hand, make us stagnate, contribute little or nothing to our well-being. In reverse, they have the power to make us lose touch with our deepest part. Ultimately, they put us at the service of something or someone, without making us grow. Here are 5 addictions that make you unhappy.

5 addictions that make you unhappy

1. Trust the opinions of others

To depend on the opinions of others means to model our behavior, our tastes and desires on the degree of approval of others. This means that our primary goal is no longer to express who we are, but to be accepted by others.


In this logic, the criticisms take on a disproportionate value, an emotional wound is created that deeply conditions. The others become a stable point of reference, not only on limited occasions, but for the entire life project. It is about one of the most corrosive addictions because it slows us down, distances us and makes us servile.


2. The fear of abandonment

The fear of abandonment is a deep addiction. It generally affects those who lived a situation of lack or abandonment as a child. It is a void that nothing and no one is able to fill and that we often carry within us, like an open wound.

The fear of abandonment is usually unconscious. It leads to developing excessive attachment to those we love. We show it especially towards our partner or close friends. The fear of losing these people makes us possessive and anxious.

3. Fashion, one of the 5 addictions that make you unhappy

Fashion is a superfluous and uninteresting subject for many. Despite this, few people are able to distinguish their tastes from the dictates of fashion. Trends not only refer to clothes, but also to personal tastes, to interests and even to ideology and philosophy.

Many, for example, wonder if the vegan lifestyle is really the result of reflection and conviction or if many of its followers are not simply merging into a trend. This desire to be part of the majority sometimes leads to addiction.

Not being “in” is a matter of great concern to some of us. This leads, perhaps, to upset one's own identity.


4. The physical aspect

Another myth that shapes our consciousness is the physical aspect. Some of us give it an exaggerated importance and therefore end up developing a real addiction to it. They come to believe that their worth as human beings is closely tied to their physical appearance.


If it is true that appearance has a great weight in today's society, it is equally true that it is an often ephemeral play of light and shadow. Beauty opens its doors and conquers, however it stops at the first impression. Dependence on physical appearance is the same as depending on an illusion.


Money

Money is an illusion capable of deeply marking. They generate addiction if we decide the value of a person from them. Having money and not having it is a dynamic present in the life of most of us. There are few people who maintain a stable economic situation without interruption.

Dependence on money means believing that happiness lies in consumption. Or to think that the richer we are, the more value we acquire as human beings. Likewise, having no more means having lost everything, even oneself.


These 5 addictions are highly harmful because they chain us rather than support us. They take away more than they give. They cause alienation, they distance us from our most authentic part. Better think of ourselves as kites: tied to a fixed point, but free in flight.

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