Last update: January 08, 2016
We spend most of our lives making promises, as if we were certain that in doing so the people we love will never abandon us. We make promises that look like contracts and that allow, in an illusory way, to extend the time we have left with others.
However, we often don't realize that what really matters is not the promise itself with the expectation it creates, but its ability to transform itself into reality. Ultimately, reality is the only thing that really matters: what comes to us, what we can feel and touch.
Choose who gives you heaven instead of promising it
How many times have we promised the impossible or better yet, how many times have they promised us? Making promises is simple, so when they are not fulfilled they can do a lot of harm. And it is always for the same reason that when a promise does not come true, we feel disappointed: we were expecting something, we had believed in words that will not come true.
When a promise does not come out of the sphere of the impossible, one feels betrayed or even worse disappointed. Disappointment is a horrible feeling that can be experienced on many occasions in life, and that puts us in front of a reality that we would not want to see.
Sometimes, these are realities that, due to our pain, even appear confused and blurry. To prevent these negative feelings from entering our life, it is necessary to be aware that affection is not nourished only by beautiful words and promises from a distance, as Julio Cortázar would say; but a present full of concrete details.
“I will not promise you eternal love. I will try to make you feel every day that I love you, to make you discover who I really am. I will not make speeches or promises to you, because I have learned that love made of words is not as good as the love that is shown with deeds. "
-Anonymous-
Because we value promises so much
There is no question that any strong relationship is based on the trust you have in the other person. It does not matter the type of relationship: whether it is the partner or a friend, trust remains the starting point, the substance and the end of any bond that exists between two people.
And precisely for this reason it is right not to forget that promises generate a state of trust in others, they can determine the maintenance or termination of a relationship. This is why, unknowingly, we tend to place too much emphasis on promises.
Learn to cultivate promises
In order to keep our relationships alive and healthy for as long as possible, we can keep in mind a number of steps that are not too difficult to observe:
- First, it's important to understand that not all promises are within our reach: one must be aware of the fact that, as difficult as it is to believe, there are impossible promises. Just promise what you are sure you can accomplish, and only believe the promises you consider feasible.
- Second, it is always good stop and think about the person we are promising something to. How do you think it would feel if you couldn't fulfill your promise? How would you feel in his place?
- Finally, always keep in mind the fact that behind the fulfillment of a promise, there are many constraints, and this is not a joke. Making a promise to someone is as serious a business as making a relationship worth it.
“And what if I was yours with no rings or chords? And what if I was yours because I want it and because I love you? And what if for life we ​​were together rather than married, if we were in love more than satisfied, united rather than associated? And what if we loved each other without why, without excuses and without fears? And what if we were truth, reality and the moon? "
-Brando-
