Acceptance: First step towards change

We all want to change something in our life; we want to do more physical activity, change jobs, find the courage to take a big step, go out, quit smoking, end a relationship… well, basically the desire for change is the only constant throughout life. However, we continue to resist and we almost never know where to start. Well, here's the secret: the first big step to change isradical acceptance.

Why acceptance?

Because normally behind every change; at least in most cases and for the most important, there is always a problem or something you want to leave behind. However, until we accept this problem we will not be able to move forward.If we try to make a big change without first accepting the problem that generated it, in the end we will only get frustrated and feel the constant need to look behind us, as if we have We use a metaphor to better understand the value of acceptance: let's imagine that we are the captain of a sailing ship and we want to set sail to get to know new seas, we are tired of being in the port and we want a change of scenery. So we open the sails to the wind and prepare to cross the sea, but no matter how hard we try, the boat doesn't move. So we feel frustrated, we feel that something is wrong. What is wrong is that we are still anchored to the bottom of the sea; it is the ballast represented by all our problems, prejudices and beliefs
that keep us from moving forward. So the first step to change is to accept our past and the problem itself. Since the point is not to run away but to face the problem with a mature attitude, it is worth remembering that accepting does not mean resigning yourself to the situation, it means understanding it in all its fullness (including pros and cons) and continuing to move forward. Of course, to accept a situation we must first analyze it, immerse ourselves in it and evaluate it with a critical attitude, take the position of an external observer to appreciate all its profiles. It's hard to do, especially if we're too emotionally involved. In this case, we can ask for help from a friend or a close relative who knows our situation in depth. His point of view will be helpful; however, understanding a situation does not mean accepting it. Understanding the causes of the problem and its implications means being on a rational level. Then you have to move on to the next stage: emotional acceptance. This means that it is necessary to understand and accept emotions, even when they are negative. You will know that you have passed this stage when thinking about the problem does not suffer a heavy emotional repercussion. At the same time, emotional acceptance will open up new perspectives that will allow you to evaluate the problem more adequately and logically.

At this point you will be ready to continue your journey. Now you can ask for help, face an important decision and leave the problem behind.

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