We were all born with a fair amount of unconditional loveBut over time, as we grow up and clash with others, this love becomes more and more conditional.Each time someone criticizes us or makes us feel inadequate, we lose a small dose of that love we had for ourselves. We learn that if we want to be accepted by others, we must meet certain standards and if we don't, others will point out that we are outside their circle. At this point we stop loving each other unconditionally and begin to condition the relationship with ours " I ”to our successes and failures. The moment we start judging ourselves by applying the rules of others, we stop loving ourselves for who we are - it's a painful process we've all been through. As a result, it is not surprising that many people, even successful adults, continue to experience a feeling of discomfort with themselves constantly blaming themselves. These people have lost touch with their deepest "I" because they have built a "social self" that has buried it.The signs that you don't accept yourself unconditionally
- You often feel inadequate in different situations and contexts - You think you do not deserve the love of others - You constantly compare yourself to others and always end up feeling inferior - You think you are not smart enough / thin / interesting / sociable - You do not undertake new projects for fear of failure - You constantly repress yourself, you don't allow yourself to be yourself - You feel uncomfortable with yourself and you don't like being alone with your thoughtsAccepting yourself unconditionally: Continuous learning
Accepting ourselves unconditionally is the first step to loving ourselves unconditionally. We can't be comfortable with ourselves if we constantly criticize ourselves, if we think we are failures or not smart and attractive enough. Interestingly, accepting our flaws or imperfections doesn't mean not making an effort to improve. Acceptance implies, first of all, full awareness. This means that we are aware of the mistakes we have made but we do not continue to punish ourselves for them, rather we try to correct them. It means that we are aware of our limitations and try to take it one step further. Unconditional acceptance involves experiencing reality as it is, without any denial or rejection. Over time, if this attitude is truly sincere it will erase the negative and unpleasant feelings we felt towards ourselves and give way to love.The process of unconditional acceptance is long and painful. But at the end of the journey you will find that it is also liberating. In fact, we find it difficult to practice unconditional acceptance because we have been taught to criticize ourselves and become our most severe judge. We have been taught to adapt to society, but not to live with ourselves.1. Rediscover who you are. To accept yourself you have to know yourself. Take a few minutes every day to look inside yourself. Ask yourself what you like and what you hate, what makes you happy, what you don't like about yourself, who you really are ... these may seem trivial questions, but you may be surprised to find that you have no answers for many of these because you have long since lost the connection. with your "inner self". Don't give up, give yourself the time you need.
2. Accept yourself without criticizing yourself. Whenever you make a mistake or discover a part of yourself that you don't like, instead of judging and criticizing yourself, just accept it. Take note of reality as if you were an impartial observer. Ask yourself what you can learn and how this mistake or "flaw" can turn you into a better person. Accept that you are not perfect and that you do not need to be to love yourself and be a person of worth. Remember that we are all perfect just the way we are.
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