Last update: 11 September, 2015
“Seriousness is not a sign of maturity.
Maturity is knowing how to laugh at life,
to take it seriously when necessary ”.
Adding candle after candle to our birthday cake is not an indication of our growing maturity nor of the fact that we have grown emotionally or have improved our ability at what previously made us lose our balance.
Most people tend to chastise themselves for mistakes they make, instead of complimenting themselves when they get something. We are very hard on ourselves, more than anyone else, and we focus only on the defeats and not on the successes.
This may be due to the society we live in or the century in which we were born. We often get demotivated quickly when something doesn't go as we hoped. We don't value what we do well. We don't have enough patience to move forward, and we don't pay attention to small changes.
Sometimes it is worth stopping in the chasm of the daily grind to make a list of everything we have achieved. Not to become arrogant, but to realize what we are grown emotionally.
Signs of emotional maturity
There are some signs that we can add an extra candle on the mental birthday cake. Here they are!
1. Letting go of what hurts us: It is very important to learn to eliminate from our life what hurts us, what does not help us move forward or keeps us anchored in the past. This skill is essential for success in any area. Recognizing toxic people is a big step forward.
2. Learn from mistakes: Who said that making a mistake will mark us for life? We can learn many lessons from mistakes. It is useless to always aspire to perfection, in an obsessive way. Making mistakes is good, especially if we learn not to repeat those mistakes.
This will completely change our perspective and help us undertake new, more ambitious and successful projects. Because? Because experience guides us!
3. Avoid complaining: This is undoubtedly one of the major signs of emotional growth. People who spend all day criticizing for the fun of it only get increased negativity and pessimism around them. Learning not to cry over spilled milk makes us mature people. If you take action and solve problems, instead of complaining and crying, it means that you are growing.
4. Celebrate the successes of others: Applauding others and being genuinely happy for them when things are going well is synonymous with maturity. This means that you do not envy them, that you understand that they have tried very hard, that you are able to recognize the work of others.
5. Have less conflictual relationships: It doesn't mean that it's always a bed of roses, but that you don't spend your days arguing and arguing. The era of wanting to be right at all costs is over. You have learned to put yourself in others' shoes, to try to reach a compromise instead of arguing, you know that discussions are a waste of time and that it is better to seek a solution together. Furthermore, you have realized that it is better to be calm rather than right.
6. Don't be afraid to ask for help: Until recently, when you were not yet emotionally matured, you considered requests for help as a sign of weakness, and you thought you could not afford it.
Now you understand that it is a sign of trust in the other, for example. You can't always do it all by yourself, and being humble and recognizing that you don't know something or need a hand is a good thing.
7. Know what you want: Uncertainty about the future is no longer a rule, but the exception. You are more aware of what you want in life and even when you will get it. Being more self-confident allows you to set the guidelines of your destiny and to know perfectly what to expect from tomorrow.
8. Don't care what others say: The opinion of others has often kept you on your toes in the past, but now you are in a new phase in your life. You are only interested in the opinion of those who want to help you and want your happiness. That is to say the constructive criticism of those around you (also because you have finally managed to get away from toxic people).