7 things happy people don't do

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Robert Maurer
@robertmaurer
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There are situations in life beyond our control that can cause us great pain, sink us into sadness or generate deep anger. Everyone, sooner or later, will have to live these experiences.

However, there are people who focus only on these aspects, and end up believing that life is just a vale of tears. Others, on the other hand, prefer to focus on the things they can control, prefer to do what they can to be happy or at least try.


If we take this perspective, we can understand that being happy is a personal decision we make every day. And to achieve this goal it is essential to be aware of these behaviors and attitudes that end up embittering us.


What differentiates people who bet on happiness?

1. Happy people accept change. Unhappy people fear him

Accepting change is one of the most difficult challenges we face in life. It is easier for most people to stay sheltered in their comfort zone, where they know exactly what to expect and have everything relatively under control. But happiness is scarce in that area, because being happy also means living new experiences, having the courage to go beyond our limits and be in constant evolution. In reality, happiness does not contrast with fear and anxiety, but is intertwined with them to allow us to grow.

2. Happy people talk about ideas. Unhappy people talk about others
Happy people focus on themselves, strive to be clear about what they want, and chart the path to achieve it. Indeed, one of the greatest secrets of happiness is to abandon unhealthy criticism, the unhealthy need to depend on others and, above all, the belief that we are superior and can become the judges of others' behaviors and attitudes. Unhappy people, on the other hand, devote themselves to criticizing others, in such a way that they waste precious energy that could be used to improve their lives.



3. Happy people take responsibility for their mistakes. Unhappy people blame others

There is a belief in our society that mistakes are bad, which makes it very difficult for people to assume them voluntarily. But blaming others is the most direct way to unhappiness. Conversely, happy people have an internal locus of control that allows them to take responsibility for their actions, without feeling that they have failed or that they have the weight of guilt on their shoulders. These people understand that mistakes are opportunities to learn and take advantage of them to grow. So when they get it wrong, rather than crying over spilled milk or looking for a culprit, they learn their lesson and move on with a set of tools that will help them live more fully.

4. Happy people forgive. Unhappy people feel a grudge

One of the most harmful feelings we can experience is resentment, it is like consuming oneself over a low heat of one's own will. Resentment not only makes us unhappy, it also triggers a series of physiological reactions that increase our propensity to get sick. So happy people know they need to forgive and move on. Indeed, forgiveness is extremely liberating because it prevents us from being prisoners of the past and allows us to fully experience the present. If we are not able to forgive we remain prisoners of rancor, we remain tied to this situation that has hurt us so much and continues to hurt us.

5. Happy people focus on the positive. Unhappy people only see spots on the sun


Happy people are not naive optimists, on the contrary, they can become very realistic and are able to keep their expectations in check. But they prefer to focus on the positive aspects of situations, because they know they can motivate themselves and feel better. These people are aware that the glass is half empty, but they choose to focus on the fact that it is also half full. On the contrary, unhappy people focus only on the negative aspects of situations, so they end up developing a pessimistic view of the world that ends up embittering their life. These people prefer to see the spots on the sun instead of appreciating the warmth and light it gives.


6. Happy people take advantage of opportunities. Unhappy people cross their arms and complain

One of the keys to having a full and happy life is to take opportunities. Happy people know this and are always willing to consider alternatives. These people know they can make mistakes, but they prefer to take risks rather than sit back and watch and then repent for not taking the opportunity. On the contrary, unhappy people wallow in bitterness and let opportunities pass them constantly by making excuses to complain about their "bad luck", they do not realize that they are the ones who build their own destiny.


7. Happy people follow their dreams. Unhappy people remain attached to the opinions of others

Happy people dream as if they could live forever and live as if they were to die tomorrow. This means that they have big plans for the future but, at the same time, they don't miss the here and now. They do not postpone happiness or subordinate it to a distant goal, but they know how to take advantage of the little things of the present that give them joy and satisfaction. Conversely, unhappy people let others dictate their goals, they rely on their opinions and assessments. This is the most direct path to dissatisfaction, bitterness and remorse, to follow a path set by others, and to depend on their opinions. The key to true happiness is knowing what we really need and having the courage to fight for it.


Benjamin Franklin had already said it: "human happiness is not obtained with great unexpected strokes of luck, which can rarely occur in life, but with small things that happen every day".

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