Some think that fear is a typical emotion of insecure people, but in reality we all experience it. In fact, fear could be classified as a positive feeling, because it is a kind of alarm bell that tells us that we must protect ourselves from a situation that we consider dangerous. The problem begins when fear paralyzes us, when it prevents us from moving forward and condemns us to immobility, generating feelings of dissatisfaction. At that point it is necessary to face it.
Of course, overcoming fear isn't always easy, especially when it comes to concerns that are rooted deep within us. However, consider that just as with anger, fear can be overcome by coming up with a different interpretation of the situation that poses an alleged threat. However, to overcome fear it is necessary to learn to manage our emotions and discover the thoughts that underlie them and intensify them.
Learn to manage emotions, thoughts and feelings
1. Realize the fear. The more vague and widespread the fear, the more it causes suffering. Therefore,
it is important to determine what the exact cause of your fear is. It will be difficult at first, since it is also likely that you do not want to consciously recognize it, but try to introspect. A guide to start looking is to focus on the things that are truly important, since often the fears that paralyze us are generated by the fear of exposing ourselves to others or of losing something or someone that is of great value to us.
2. Analyze the fear. Once you know what you are afraid of, ask yourself why. You probably won't find an immediate answer, you may need a few days to search your unconscious. However, always keep in mind that often the fear of the likelihood of a certain event happening is worse than the event itself. In fact, we are used to exaggerating the negative consequences of situations, but when we live them, we usually recognize that reality is not as negative as we had imagined. So always ask yourself: what's the worst that could happen?
3. Coping with fear. Imagine the worst possible situation and think about how you could get out of it. After all, it is very likely that other people have experienced similar situations in the past and have been able to come out of it strengthened. It is not necessary to throw yourself headlong into the problem that scares us, but it is advisable to start taking small steps to get closer to the goal and overcome fear. For example, if you are afraid of public speaking, it is counterproductive to start with a speech in front of a crowded auditorium, but you can start by giving a short presentation in front of a small group of people. Little by little we will get used to the situation and we will be convinced that it is not so dangerous.
4. Live your fear. Almost always denying emotions and trying to hide them is counterproductive. Therefore, the best alternative is to experience one's fear. At first this idea may seem frightening to us, but little by little you will notice that when the unpleasant feelings reach their peak they will begin to subside without causing further complications. Let fear assault you and as it does, focus on how yours is
body reacts to the sensations you experience.
5. Dominate your body. When we feel fear, a whole series of reactions are triggered on a physiological level, some of these have a strong component of automatism and we cannot control them, such as pupil dilation and sweating, while others can be influenced, such as muscle tension. and shortness of breath. While you feel fear, focus on how your body reacts. You will notice that the breathing is labored and the muscles are tense. As a result of these bodily changes our brain perceives that we are ready to face the danger. However, if we learn relaxation and breath control techniques, we will be able to break the vicious circle.
6. Change the ideas that reinforce fear. Often, when we feel fear, our mind is crossed by different thoughts that reinforce the fear. Almost always these ideas refer to our abilities, such as: “I can't do it” or “I'm not up to it”. This attitude only serves to make us panic. Instead we should think: "I'll try in every way" or "I'll give the best of myself." It is not a question of applying extreme positivism by thinking: "I can do whatever I want", because often this thought contradicts our beliefs and ends up being rejected by our unconscious. It is about building up courage to face the situation. One can also reflect on the fact that even if the danger exists, it is worth trying for the advantages that could be obtained.
7. Relive comforting experiences. To overcome the feelings that generate fear, it is often helpful to think about situations in which you have felt comfortable. When one imagines in detail an experience in which we have felt safe and secure, the feeling of fear disappears and a feeling of peace takes its place. Obviously, you can't leave room for improvisation by looking for a new experience every time you feel fear because it won't help. Instead, it is preferable to choose a day in which you feel relaxed to search in the memory for an experience that made us feel safe and calm. Then recreate all the details and make sure they are as vivid as possible. Immerse yourself in this feeling and let it fill you. Now you already have your comforting experience and you can use it whenever you need it.
Find out how to cure anxiety effectively and naturally, through ten simple steps clearly illustrated in this book.