Last update: 14 September, 2022
Do you often find yourself in the midst of conflicts or discussions that don't interest you? In a quarrel you are stuck and you don't know how to solve it? It has happened to everyone, in fact if there is something constant in life it is change, which always triggers some kind of conflict.
Don't worry, today we will give you some tips to learn how to handle such situations. We will help you to prevent problematic people from disturbing your balance.
Why do conflicts arise?
The first thing to keep in mind is that people who start an argument usually don't feel comfortable with some aspect of their life. They are those who do not feel heard or understood and look for other ways to be heard. This may seem silly to you, but you shouldn't underestimate any situation before knowing its various aspects.
Conflicts can also arise to satisfy the need to demonstrate one's power. A boss with low self-esteem or a partner who sees how you manage to resolve conflicts with intelligence and elegance. These people want to show that they are the ones who are worthy, that they have the power and that they believe they have some authority over you.. Keep calm. They just want you, or anyone else, to pay attention to them.
The steps to resolve a conflict
To resolve a conflict, it is necessary to remain calm. Learn to listen, evaluate and understand the other person. Now we give you some tips to learn how to manage an inevitable conflict:
1. Listen carefully
Try to always remain calm and be silent. It is important for the other person to feel heard. That's why she is doing everything she does. If you listen to it calmly and carefully, it will begin to lower your voice. Speak when the waters have calmed down. If he asks why you are not talking, tell them that you are simply listening to what he has to say.
2. Do not interrupt your interlocutor
Let them speak freely and justify the discussion and anger towards you. You have to give the benefit of the doubt, maybe he's right and you risk speaking ahead of time. Your interlocutor needs to be heard, he wants to demonstrate his power. Let them. There are people who can't find a way to assert themselves and feel clouded, that's why they scream.
3. Put yourself in the other person's shoes
Think about why he feels this way. Maybe he has a stressful job or maybe his life is not going the way he would like. Think what would happen if it were you instead of him. Understanding your interlocutor will help you better understand and resolve the situation. Don't lose your cool.
4. Confirm what the other party says
When the time comes to speak, make it clear to the interlocutor that you have listened to what he said to you: "what you want to tell me is that ...", "yes, I clearly understand that you are telling me that ...", in this way he will understand that the 'you have listened and given your full attention. Often, it's just that, people need to be heard. After you have reached an agreement on what the interlocutor said, you can express your opinion.
5. Admit that you are wrong if so
Admitting that you have been wrong in front of others shows your confidence and self-confidence. Few people can do it, you have to try. If this is the case, the conflict will be resolved quickly and you will raise the opinion that others have of you. If you are not sure you have made a mistake, but you have doubts, explain it to your interlocutor: "you know, maybe you are right, can we discuss it together?". If you're not entirely sure, don't expose your arguments. This will show that you are a trustworthy person.
6. Visualize the other person at their best
If you know some details of your interlocutor's personal life, something he likes to do or that has to do with you, try to imagine him doing it. Whenever you think about this person, associate them with what they like. This way you will be able to speak to that happy facade, because you will address the person in question in a kind and cheerful manner.. Make sure you don't know the violent and negative facade of your interlocutor, so you can start a conversation in the best ways.
If you can keep these tips in mind when you find yourself in the middle of an argument or conflict, it is sure to resolve it easily. You will find a solution and you will be able to optimize your time more effectively.
Image courtesy of pogonici.