5 situations that allow you to get to know a person

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Robert Maurer
@robertmaurer
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Interpersonal relationships are a source of great joy, but also of profound disappointments, when they do not meet our expectations. However, truly knowing someone involves spending time with that person, sharing intimate moments in different situations to get to discover their good and bad sides.

In general, every relationship is precious and can bring us something, but really knowing the people around us will help us to adjust our expectations and maintain a more fluid relationship. If we know what each person can give, and how far they can go, we don't run the risk of asking too much of them.



How you deal with difficult situations says a lot about people

1. Stressful situations. “I learned that you can know a lot about a person from the way they behave in these three situations: a rainy day, a lost suitcase, and a tangled Christmas tree lights,” Maya Angelou said. Surely the way to deal with stress, even a not particularly serious situation, can say a lot about a person. When we are under tension it is when we can show our best or, conversely, our worst side. There are people who become irritated to the point of reacting aggressively and are unable to think clearly. Some try to blame others by avoiding taking any responsibility. Others are gripped by such anxiety that they get stuck, so they can't think clearly and find effective solutions. There are also mature people who, despite nervousness or stress, still try to find a solution by keeping calm.

2. Situations in which he needs you.
You can find out a lot about a person by the way they ask you for help. For example, there are people who don't want to put an extra burden on your shoulders and ask you for help only when they really need it, but there are also others who expect you to always be available to help them and prioritize their problems, even if they are minor. These people behave selfishly and never stop asking for favors, so it's important that you learn to limit them as soon as possible. There are also those who ask for help by recalling a previous favor, because they think that friendship should be a continuous "settling of scores".



3. Complicated situations where you need help. "Only feelings can unite us, interest has never created stable friendships", Cicero said. Therefore, there is no better way to get to know a person than through the help they give you when you need it most. There are people who are on our side when they need our help, advice and support, but as soon as they solve their problems they disappear or make excuses for not giving us the help we need. Others are indifferent, act as if nothing is happening or underestimate our problems and emotions. Of course, there will be situations where others can't do much, but simply standing by and supporting us is more than enough. It is not that others have to solve problems for us, but to be empathetic and understanding, helping us to get through this difficult time. The people who reach out to us when we need them most are real treasures that we must not neglect.

4. Situations of daily coexistence. There is nothing like daily life and living together to really get to know a person. Is she someone who respects your things and your space or, conversely, is she too self-centered who expects your life to revolve around her? Does he share his experiences and emotions or does he withdraw into himself and keep you out of his life? Is he able to argue without attacking you? Does he compromise with the problems of everyday life or does he ignore them hoping that you always take care of everything? Does he worry about making time to share experiences or is he always too busy to spend time with you? Living together will tell you if a person is independent and really cares about fueling your relationship or, on the contrary, is selfish and wants you to perpetually orbit around him.



5. Happy and successful situations. When a person truly loves you, they will be happy with your success and happiness, even if they are going through a bad time. But there are people who show their worst side in those moments, making an effort to belittle your effort or joy. These people can be by your side when you are going through a bad time, because they believe that, in some way, you depend on them, but as soon as you recover they are afraid that you will cut that bond that unites you, so they try to "boycott" you emotionally when things are starting to go well for you. Deep down, these people may feel envious, or they want to keep you tied up with the rope of suffering.


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