10 tips for learning to live with anxious people

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Joe Dispenza
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Anxiety is a very difficult problem to manage, and not only for the person who suffers from it, but also for those close to him. Living with an anxious person can be very tiring as they are often too demanding and react with irritability and frustration. In many cases, these people's unwillingness to plan and their tendency to impulsivity can create problems in interpersonal relationships, so if you live with an anxious person, it is important that you understand how they feel and why they react the way they do. The ability to put yourself in others' shoes is essential to avoid unnecessary discussions and, of course, to help the person.

Understanding Anxious People: The Key to Maintaining a Healthy Relationship

1. There is much more to the anxiety. No one can be defined solely by a single characteristic. This is a cliché, but the fact is that when we are blinded, we tend to focus only on the negative qualities, ignoring the positive ones. Therefore, it is important to learn to look beyond anxiety by evaluating all the qualities of the person next to you.
2. When the fatigue is excessive. The anxious person is aware of everything that happens around him because his brain is unable to disconnect. This overactive state ends up being overwhelming and tiring. So, if you want to talk calmly about an important issue, it's best to choose a quiet place. This way the person will pay more attention and be less irritable.
3. There is an awareness that anxiety is irrational. Most people who suffer from anxiety know perfectly well that it is an irrational state. The anxious person loses contact with reality, encounters difficulties in managing certain sensations, emotions and thoughts. Therefore, emphasizing the irrationality of their condition or their concerns does not help, on the contrary, it creates a sense of guilt or misunderstanding for what they are experiencing.
4. Letting go is difficult. Anxiety is inextricably linked to unwanted and recurring thoughts. The mind of the anxious person is always bombarded with the same ideas, which terrify or depress him, all the time. So letting go or turning the page can be very complicated. Do not pressure him to "forget" or think about something else, because the more importance he gives to those thoughts the more they will become fixed in his mind. Give her time and help her get distracted.
5. Changes, even small ones, are always a challenge. The anxious person lives in an almost permanent state of anxiety and distress, waiting for the next occasion when something bad will happen. So it's common for when he's in a comfort zone, he clings to it and refuses changes. We need to be patient because changes in his mind can mean destabilization, chaos and, of course, malaise. This does not mean that the changes are not positive, on the contrary, they can be very useful, but it is necessary to be patient and respect the pace.
6. Being fully present is a luxury. The anxious person is not always able to be fully present, their mind is very active and often takes them far away, so it is normal for them to get lost in their thoughts. Obviously she does not do it on purpose, often she is encouraged by the environment, by a phrase, a perfume or an object, which her brain associates with a past experience, triggering a whole series of thoughts. Don't worry, let it slowly come back to reality.
7. Exhaustion is his daily bread. Anxiety is simply exhausting. Imagine spending all day anxious and waiting, often without knowing why. This state of perennial alertness is both physically and mentally tired, so it is normal for anxious people to need more rest. Added to this is that they often have a hard time getting restful sleep, as they cannot relax easily. Do not complain to them and do not stimulate them to be more productive, as it will only add an extra dose of anxiety and tension.
8. Impulsiveness leads to making bad decisions. Anxious people can react impulsively to certain situations. For example, an experiment conducted at the University of Illinois showed that anxious people make hasty conclusions about the emotional states of others, which leads them to make mistakes in relationships. This lack of reflection is brought about by a hyperactivation of the emotional brain, they don't do it on purpose. Therefore, the best help is to be patient by helping them guide their thinking.
9. Restlessness and impatience are the weapons to be used in the daily battle. The anxious person experiences a state of inner arousal that prevents him from being calm. She expresses this activation by moving her hands and feet while sitting or by constantly changing activities. In some of these people, the relaxation techniques work while in others they cause more concern. If so, physical activity may be more helpful. So, perhaps, instead of going to the cinema, it is better to plan a walk in the park. It's about adapting to each other's needs by planning activities that make both of you feel good.
10. Talking about feelings is liberating. The anxious person can find great relief in someone who listens to them and shows real interest in what they are feeling. So often the best cure is not drugs or psychotherapy, but love and understanding. Ask him how he feels and try to understand, put yourself in his place. Active listening will strengthen your relationship, creating stronger emotional bonds. Finally, don't forget that sharing your life with an anxious person can be a great adventure, you just need to focus on the positives.
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